[iamjustbeingmenow]

After more than a decade my marriage ended, after all the emotional sabotage and neglect, after being told too many times "If you dont like it then leave" i took her up on it.

Now comes the hard part, rebuilding a life i never built in the first place with no clue how to do it.

My child is disabled, needing constant appointments and extra care. It makes a mess for childcare and working.

I have no job, as stated above, it's hard to find/keep a job when your constantly missing work for appointments/medical emergencies, on top of having a limited schedule due to the availability of childcare.

My ex is a mess, wastes money in such a fashion, that although she should not struggle she does, and despite the fact that i bring in 25% of what she does, i still end up having to make sure our child doesnt go without while our child is with her. Also having guys in and out since I left hasnt helped our child emotionally

I have no home, I am staying with family, but its causing a financial strain on them and an emotional strain on everyone, besides its not ideal for raising a child.

I have no clue, I dont know what to do, everyone has their 2c and while i appreciate that, most of the advice while it solves one problem, it either makes another worse or cant work because of the other problems.

Go work at a fast food resturant, they have parent hours. Yes they do, but those hours are conflicted by appointments, and when you take appointments off those already limited hours, its not enough to survive.

Work from home, you need a home, i dont have a stable place, plus the ability to have a uninterrupted work area is something i dont have.

Start your own business, need money for that, I dont have any of that.

Get goverment help, already have the maximum i can get and its not enough, I get that its not supposed to be a permanent thing, but its not enough to start getting me back on my feet to even help myself.

Make the ex take more responsibility. She wouldn't and it would be our child that paid the price, she would cancel appointments and not go, she would have our child not have the things she needs because she is irresponsible and unprepared for things. Its never malicious that she doesnt care, its just when your money is all gone before you get more, what else can you do besides nothing, if your bank account has no money you cant travel to appointmnets that require gas and parking fees ect,so they just wouldnt go.

Im just at a loss because I dont know how to even move up at all, to try and do better and get better and start to live my life

[Christina86]

Welcome!

That sounds like a rather messy situation. I'm sorry you're dealing with so much!

As a person with a pretty substantial physical disability who is the child of divorced parents... I can only tell you what I know from my own perspective, but I thought I'd give it a shot.

You say you're getting "government help", presumably for childcare related costs for your child with a disability. But are you getting both the provincial AND the federal benefits? There are good programs out there if you want help looking for them (I'm on ODSP in Ontario for instance). You might also qualify for attendant care or respite care at a reduced rate - which could give you a break.

As for your ex - I think perhaps you need to take her to court, to ensure that she provides for your child. That's the only fair thing to do for the child's benefit.