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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,614
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#81
The kind of behavior that these two people, your ex and former friend, have engaged in is not what I believe makes a good foundation for a great, wonderful life. If you are imagining them as having tons of new happiness and a marvelous future ahead, while you are left to drink only from a bitter cup, then I think you are not understanding how life tends to go. They will have their own miseries waiting for them down the road. They may hide that very well, but there will be a lot going on that you won't know about . . . and it won't all be good.
These are two people inclined to be treacherous. I don't think their life is going to be a constant walk in a rose garden. You may be better off having the both of them out of your life. Now you're free to find good, loyal people to invest your time and interest in. That can take a lot of time and a lot of looking, but there are good people out there - people who don't find it easy to betray a friend. Stop imagine these two as happy and laughing and knowing only joy and satisfaction. You won't know what they're doing. Pain comes into every life. |
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Azzurrella
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Cuyahoga Falls, OH
Posts: 14
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#82
I'm sorry I don't have an answer either. I just know it does get easier.
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Cuyahoga Falls, OH
Posts: 14
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#83
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Member
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 47
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#84
Hi Friends! I'm still moving on, but It is not easy...
They are not yet two yers that my husband left me...now he has married again and his "lady" is pregnant of 6 months...... I can't believe that is love. He has fallen in love, surely. She's carrying on her project to have a baby (she's old, she had not a lot of time to wait again). It's not my matter, but in a sort of competition between us, they're alteady at the goal, while I have to left the start point yet. And so much things are not right yet in my life!! I feel like they have stolen my life. For sure the last two years. How they can sleep? |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,614
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13 5,461 hugs
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#85
It's you who has to make your life. "They" could not have stolen anything that was surely and truly yours. What they demolished was the illusion you were living in. You found out you didn't have what you thought was yours. It didn't get stolen from you. You never really had it.
Her having a baby doesn't mean she's winning some race. Stop these comparisons. |
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Member
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 47
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#86
If I have to be sincere, I have to tell that I'm thinking very often how to stop this pain, and the solution is not properly pain-free.
If I will be lucky, maybe an asteroid will hurt my car, with me inside, when I' m going at work. I cannot struggle anymore. |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,614
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13 5,461 hugs
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#87
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad.
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Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa,Ont
Posts: 50
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#88
I think your grieving. For what could have been,should have been.When you married you wanted to make a life with him together. I understand what your saying...I am the same way right now. Its been 3 years for me . Now I am trying to rebuild a life from what was my life for 36 years. My grown children are all happy from what i know. See them on stat days. Hope you can get the funk out,i am trying and i hope to be soon too.
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Azzurrella
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Member
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 47
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#89
It may seem that I'm glad to continue to suffer from my situation.
I have an horrible family, they think (and they say) that my husband has thrown me away from my house and his family for my faults, and that everyone will do the same thing. So I feel like I have no hope for the future, my life is a non sense. For what I'm going on? I don't think a therapist will give me the solution. What I think is that I have no solution. Everything I had Is lost, my life is now unworthy. Someone goes on, I go back. |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,614
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,461 hugs
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#90
So "everything you had" depended on him? Did you not have anything that you got for yourself?
So he broke his promise "to take care of [you.]" If your plan in life was to have someone else "take care" of you, then that was not a good plan. And it was not necessary. You can take care of you. You might need some assistance. We all need some help from others. And others need help from you and from me. If you can't think of how to help yourself, then go help someone else. The world is full of "need." You have power. Use it. Help someone. Help a dog. Go feed some birds. Use your power to change something somewhere. You have power. You made a plan. It failed. So make another plan. If it fails, make plan #3. If you get tired, take a rest. Then make plan #4. That's what people do to get what they want. That's the whole secret of life. |
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Azzurrella
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Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: Ubiquitous
Posts: 39
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#91
Quote:
I wonder if you're giving too much time to these people who aren't really in your corner, and too much time too to imagining your ex and his new partner. I bet they're not thinking and worrying about and discussing you, as much as you are them. Please take care of yourself! (And, yes, I've been divorced too.) __________________ Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. --Samuel Butler |
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Azzurrella
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Azzurrella, Rose76
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New Member
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: New York
Posts: 1
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#92
1 year and you never will look back
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Member
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 47
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#93
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Member
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Italy
Posts: 47
5 10 hugs
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#94
I hope You all are good. I'm fine, and hope the pandemic will end, at the end.
Every day I cry. Now it is not for my ex husband. I cry thinking of me. I'd like to have someone telling me that I'm doing good. My parents cannot. My friends refuse to look at me for what I really am: because I WAS strong and was the one helping others, nobody now helps me. I don't need anything, but I see the big differences between the life I worked to build up, and the results. I know I have to accept everything: my absent parents, my judjing parents, my hard work, my loneliness, my life without a family, without chidren, without the house I had, without dreams. I work every day. Every day in my car go8ng to work, I cannot stop thinking what I was and what it is. Amen, I have not anything else to say. This was the plan for me. |
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New Member
Member Since May 2021
Location: Rome - Italy
Posts: 2
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#95
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Azzurrella
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