So a family member is arguing to me that her ex is engaging in parental alienation without ever providing the specifics. She just sends me bunch of articles about it to "educate" me.

To be honest, I feel that she is the one engaging in parental alienation; not him (and there are specific things she does that make me feel this way).

So why this projection? I mean, the more I read the articles she sent me, the more I am convinced that her actions fit into the category of parental alienation.

[sarahsweets]

Is it possible that they are both guilty of this?

[healingme4me]

I don't know the specifics of how this person became estranged from their ex, but the pain of rejection can be an overwhelming feeling, hence the projection.

Perhaps it's better to find ways of self preservation for your own sake to not get caught up in their own pain? Boundaries sound necessary.

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Is it possible that they are both guilty of this?

...not that two wrongs make a right.

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I don't know the specifics of how this person became estranged from their ex, but the pain of rejection can be an overwhelming feeling, hence the projection.

Perhaps it's better to find ways of self preservation for your own sake to not get caught up in their own pain? Boundaries sound necessary.

Yes, I mean I know you are always supposed to side with your own blood-relative and never your ex in-laws. That's family-loyalty. But I prefer not to take sides at all. In fact, don't some people even prefer that their family not get involved in their divorce?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by ennie

Yes, I mean I know you are always supposed to side with your own blood-relative and never your ex in-laws. That's family-loyalty. But I prefer not to take sides at all. In fact, don't some people even prefer that their family not get involved in their divorce?

I know that I preferred the not taking sides. Not to say that I wanted my experience invalidated and dismissed as though nothing happened for which something most definitely happened, at the same time, I preferred that everyone behave like adults around me for the benefit of my kids. My own childhood experience from the fallout of my own parents divorce was brutal. It was immature and unnecessary.