An update on my situation

After three weeks, I can finally say that I am coming to the terms of my eventual divorce. It has been a rough road, with many twists and curves. I lived with my sister for one week and that was a huge help to get me over the sadness hump. I came home yesterday, and both kids jumped in my arms and said how much they missed me. Both of them asked me to stay and I succumbed to their innocence.

My STBXW has told my daughter and her son about us not living together soon. It brought tears to my eyes to hear my daughter (who is 6) tell me, I never want to see you go daddy. Also, my stepson seemed pretty frustrated that this was happening to him a second time. I am ineffable about these things right now.

I maintain as little contact with my STBXW as possible. I am not mean, just nearing indifference. I remind myself of the things that were incurably wrong about our marriage and find myself accepting this reality. I am not sure if this will be a permanent feeling, but I just wanted to give an update.

My main goal has been to play with the children as much as I can. In a way, the icy cold, lacking compassion demeanor of my STBXW has solidified my resolve to terminate this relationship as soon as possible. Add to that 2.5 years of no intimacy and I finally realized how awful things really were. I guess I got comfortable, which can be a dangerous thing.

I am not going to lie, seeing the kids cry and saying they will miss me hurts a bunch. At least, I am not wallowing in the pits of despair any longer and see something of a future down the road.

--sarc