advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
jcl76
Member
jcl76 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Posts: 102
10 yr Member
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 06:34 PM
  #1
I am wrestling with a question. When do you know how and after a breakup when there are still feelings?

My GF and I just split after 3 months 2 weeks ago. We are both in out mid 40s and I know this may sound cliche but this was the quickest and easiest connection I have ever had. We joked about how we connected from the very first sentence the night we met. We constantly laughed and she told me that she missed me every day we didnt see other which was only a few days a week. We did some cool trips together in a short time and she always was wanting to plan the next one. She always loved and respected being open and honest with one another and It was something she needed most in a relationship......we when I was. I admitted that I was in debt with the IRS and spent what I had saved to barely scratch the surface to getting out the whole because stupid business decisions I made.

A lot of it took her by surprise and she said it ok but a lot to process and she needed some time to think. Ultimately she said that she couldnt move forward because she needed to be with someone who is financially secure. Her marriage ended because of money and she does some real estate on the side now and has allamony/child support. The thing was it wasnt about the amount of money I have as a I have a great secure job but she doesnt want to go through the same thing. The actual part I liked about her she wasnt into money or material things but it was the security of it. She was kind of an old soul/hippie so the most important thing really was about the connection and how you feel around someone. That was supper strong but I hated that what came between us did.

Where it stands now is we have talked briefly and she has stated that she stands by what she feels in her heart but agreed to at least sit down and talk some more. I know it was a delay or a easy let down and today she said it would just bring those emotions to the surface because she has never ended things with someone she had feelings for but hopes we can be friends and have drinks occasionally.

Although I respect her feelings but the fact that there are still feelings between us how do you just let go of all hope? I hear her but damn its hard to believe it. Anyone else experienced that?
jcl76 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
hvert, RoxanneToto

advertisement
hvert
Grand Magnate
 
hvert's Avatar
hvert has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 4,887
10 yr Member
3,785 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 08, 2021 at 06:54 PM
  #2
Have you already had the sit down talk with her? I would allow my hope to live until that happened. If she still wants to break up or if she cancels the sit down (which it sounds like she might have done?), I would let the hope go at that point because it is really out of your hands. It has been a while since I dated, but I remember being in similar situations and sometimes it took me longer than others to get over the idea that we really weren't getting back together. I also remember three months being a milestone when a lot of my relationships ended.
hvert is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Here we go again
Member
Here we go again has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2020
Location: Usa
Posts: 43
3 yr Member
16 hugs
given
Default Feb 09, 2021 at 09:35 AM
  #3
If there is nothing there for you, then there is no hope. There is no point to live someone that doesn't feel the same about you. How do you let go? Daily exercise of detaching and looking for other distraction s..hugs
Here we go again is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Open Eyes
 
Thanks for this!
RoxanneToto
cjackson968
New Member
cjackson968 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2021
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8
3 yr Member
Default Feb 13, 2021 at 12:14 AM
  #4
I never experienced this exact situation, however, I will say she shouldn't fault you for being honest. Especially if you already knew the reason for the dissolution of her marriage.

Just let her know the honest truth on what occurred and how you are rehabilitating yourself and becoming more financially stable.
cjackson968 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:11 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.