advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Persephone10
Newly Joined
Persephone10 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2021
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1
3 yr Member
Frown Feb 22, 2021 at 12:38 AM
  #1
My heart is absolutely shattered into pieces. Long story short, the man I married told me that he thinks working on our marriage is delaying the inevitable (divorce.) we have been together 17 years, married for 5. I am lonely because we work opposite hours and his career seems to be his focus. It takes him away from me and tears us apart. He knows I’m not happy with his job. It’s been about focusing on his goals and had been neglecting mine as a result, but that is what he is choosing to pursue as opposed to putting in more effort regarding working on our marriage. It’s been years of this while he figured himself out. I have been patient and understanding, but also honest that we can’t keep going on this way. I want children and a family, which needs more stability and more commitment to the rest of his life than he is giving right now. He wants this too, but we are approaching the end of when this could be possible for us biologically. I have mapped out my life every step of the way to make this possible, but his new career has set us back years and made me question what matters to him. Tonight, he was ambiguous about where we stand, as if he wants me to be the one to end this/ doesn’t want it to end himself. He left to see a friend then go to work, leaving me alone and confused about what I am supposed to do next. Any advice on how to survive the next day, few days, and how to talk to him to decide next steps? I don’t even know what to do with myself. I am so confused and completely feeling abandoned and bereft. I love him with my whole being and gave him everything I have to give, now what? I never thought this would happen. I thought we would work through anything life threw our way.
Persephone10 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Bill3
 
Thanks for this!
Skeezyks

advertisement
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Feb 22, 2021 at 03:57 PM
  #2
Hello Persephone: Thank you for bringing your concern here to My Support Forums. I'm sorry you find yourself in such a difficult situation. I don't believe I have any advice to offer you. (Hopefully there will be other MSF members who will have thoughts they can share.) But I noticed this is your first post. So I thought I would at least welcome you to the forums. I hope you find being here to be of benefit.
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
MickeyCheeky
Legendary
 
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
38.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 22, 2021 at 05:24 PM
  #3
So Sorry that things are being hard! We have a forum dedicated to Marriages & separations so you may want to check that one out. i personally feel like you need to take your own decision and do whatever will make you feel happy as long as you don't hurt other people. Feel free to contact the admins and moderators in case of assistance. i am also available and Hopefully other people as well if you just ask around. Please do not give up. You do matter, everyone does. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Persephone10, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Open Eyes
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,093 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
21.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 23, 2021 at 09:57 AM
  #4
It sounds like your husband has found something he finds fulfilling and wants to continue pursuing that instead of the relationship with you. He is trying to let you know that no counseling will change his choice either. It sounds like he was basically just using you as a raft until he found a ship to take him away from his floating aimlessly. Unfortunately, men do have more time when it comes to having a family and children. It's often what makes the woman have to make some hard decisions. It sounds like you have come to a point where if you do want children and a family then it's time to let go and find someone else that wants the same as you.
Open Eyes is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:18 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.