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Old 02-22-2021, 12:38 AM   #1
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Frown Desperate at the Prospect of Divorce

My heart is absolutely shattered into pieces. Long story short, the man I married told me that he thinks working on our marriage is delaying the inevitable (divorce.) we have been together 17 years, married for 5. I am lonely because we work opposite hours and his career seems to be his focus. It takes him away from me and tears us apart. He knows Iím not happy with his job. Itís been about focusing on his goals and had been neglecting mine as a result, but that is what he is choosing to pursue as opposed to putting in more effort regarding working on our marriage. Itís been years of this while he figured himself out. I have been patient and understanding, but also honest that we canít keep going on this way. I want children and a family, which needs more stability and more commitment to the rest of his life than he is giving right now. He wants this too, but we are approaching the end of when this could be possible for us biologically. I have mapped out my life every step of the way to make this possible, but his new career has set us back years and made me question what matters to him. Tonight, he was ambiguous about where we stand, as if he wants me to be the one to end this/ doesnít want it to end himself. He left to see a friend then go to work, leaving me alone and confused about what I am supposed to do next. Any advice on how to survive the next day, few days, and how to talk to him to decide next steps? I donít even know what to do with myself. I am so confused and completely feeling abandoned and bereft. I love him with my whole being and gave him everything I have to give, now what? I never thought this would happen. I thought we would work through anything life threw our way.
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Old 02-22-2021, 03:57 PM   #2
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Smile Re: Desperate at the Prospect of Divorce

Hello Persephone: Thank you for bringing your concern here to My Support Forums. I'm sorry you find yourself in such a difficult situation. I don't believe I have any advice to offer you. (Hopefully there will be other MSF members who will have thoughts they can share.) But I noticed this is your first post. So I thought I would at least welcome you to the forums. I hope you find being here to be of benefit.
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Old 02-22-2021, 05:24 PM   #3
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Default Re: Desperate at the Prospect of Divorce

So Sorry that things are being hard! We have a forum dedicated to Marriages & separations so you may want to check that one out. i personally feel like you need to take your own decision and do whatever will make you feel happy as long as you don't hurt other people. Feel free to contact the admins and moderators in case of assistance. i am also available and Hopefully other people as well if you just ask around. Please do not give up. You do matter, everyone does. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Persephone10, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Old 02-23-2021, 09:57 AM   #4
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Default Re: Desperate at the Prospect of Divorce

It sounds like your husband has found something he finds fulfilling and wants to continue pursuing that instead of the relationship with you. He is trying to let you know that no counseling will change his choice either. It sounds like he was basically just using you as a raft until he found a ship to take him away from his floating aimlessly. Unfortunately, men do have more time when it comes to having a family and children. It's often what makes the woman have to make some hard decisions. It sounds like you have come to a point where if you do want children and a family then it's time to let go and find someone else that wants the same as you.
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