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Cinderella67
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Member Since: Mar 2021
Location: Wayne
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3 yr Member
Default Mar 05, 2021 at 06:24 PM
  #1
Hi... I’m new to this, and find it super cool that something like this online support group even exists....! That is exactly what we need when we go thru this pain of separating.. I need help. I need your advice, maybe some of you have been in this situation... it is all sad... and I am a mess. I moved out of our common home just about two weeks ago.. went into a deep depression with full blown anxiety after martial issues and many years of emotional neglect. Lived in the common home thru the pandemic but we took an apartment to do the nesting beginning of last year already. We alternated weekly for the kids who stayed in our house. The pandemic did not help. We got scared for our jobs and just financial security and moved back in together... from there, it all went downhill......My depression showed me that I could not continue the way I did.. and I begged my husband to give notice to our tenant in a condo we owe. I moved out and been struggling to find my way...... at the root of this all is that we are very different ppl, married 20y, two beautiful daughters, but in the last decade reall6 I was fully neglected, not seen, not heard.... just stonewalled and he never wanted to talk really other than about the kids....... I slowly got sick over that. He had an affair, I had an affair..... and I suggested therapy which he never wanted because he thinks that is the end to a couple. His words. I just couldn’t let myself die.... and moved out. I tried a few times via txt to reconnnect and asked when we stopped a
Talking him and me but even that he stonewalled me completely... so he thinks I’m depressed and sick, will heal in the condo and then go back to him and the fami,y.... but I cannot. And I don’t know how to tell him. He was never one to listen to my needs...... I’m afraid he would get mean with me and I depend on him some... and just cannot stand arguments. He has a way of manipulating me w the girls.... and he knows that is my weak spot... I talked to my older one, she gets it. But HE does not seem to get it at all.... I need help. I need to confront him. He is the reason I gav3 up a beautiful home in the first place.... I had to show my girls that you are never stuck!! That you always have a choice and that you need to live an authentic life! Please any input would be so helpful..... I am in therapy... I take meds but am so highly conflicted that I could just lay here and bawl all day long
Someone.... anyone??
Thank you for letting me go on and on....
xo
🙏🏼
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Yaowen
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Default Mar 09, 2021 at 12:12 PM
  #2
Dear Cinderella67,

What a heartbreaking situation. I wish I knew what to say to help or ease your pain but I have never been good at relationships and am the last person of earth to give advice. I sure hope you find your way out of this suffering so that you can have peace of mind and joy of living again. So sorry I could not be helpful to you.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Velouria812
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Default Apr 22, 2021 at 01:44 PM
  #3
I understand much of what you're saying. I left and rented an apartment only because his parents own the home we shared. The kids are better off there, but it does make me the "bad parent" because I moved out. Hopefully they'll understand more when they're older, but right now it's difficult. I had a mental breakdown at the start of COVID staying home and having to face my emotions and on top of it the anxiety and depression of pausing "normal" life. I'm here to talk if you want. I don't want to always be the one talking, so how can I help? I could stay home and cry all day as well, but my kids are here and I am trying so hard to stay strong when around them. Separation and divorce sucks no matter how you look at it, but it has to get better, right?
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