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RR85
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Member Since: Apr 2021
Location: Virginia
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2 yr Member
Post Apr 13, 2021 at 06:00 AM
  #1
I'm currently in the beginning stages of separation from my husband. We've been married for over 9 years and together over 12 years. We were originally supposed to move to Texas together at the end of April when he got out of the military, but now I'm staying here in a townhouse with a roommate and he's leaving in 2-3 weeks.

Part of me thinks it would be easier if we hated each other, but we don't. It's simply that he wants kids. From the beginning, during courtship, I've always made it known I don't want to have kids (even foster/adopt). My mind hasn't changed, but he's been thinking about parenthood a lot for more than a year now. I can't be upset with him for it, people sometimes don't know what they want until later in life. We've decided to separate because neither of us wants to resent the other in however many years because one of us compromised on something with such impact.

He's been very helpful with getting me moved into my new place. Right now at least, we're on good terms (or as good as you can be in this situation, I suppose). I find myself lately getting crippling depression, and paranoid that once he moves he won't want to even talk to me anymore. He says that he will, but I keep getting in my own head about things and it really brings me down.

Is it normal to feel such a rollercoaster of emotions when you're going through a separation? I'm starting to feel a little bit crazy, honestly. I've been with him for almost half of my life now, and he's my best friend. I can't imagine a life where we don't even talk to each other.
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Yaowen
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Default Apr 14, 2021 at 02:24 PM
  #2
Dear RR85,

Although I am not in your shoes, I experienced something quite similar to what you describe during a separation. I think your thoughts and feelings are totally understandable. The human brain is so complex and so mysterious and sometimes it takes us to a lot of places we don't want to go to. Wish I knew what to say that would help. But after a separation I developed a severe depression that left me hospitalized, so I am the last person on earth to offer advice. What a heartbreaking situation you are in. Hopefully others here will prove helpful to you. So very, very sorry I don't know how to be helpful!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Thanks for this!
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