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soulsearch2021
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Member Since: Jun 2021
Location: Indiana
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2 yr Member
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Default Jun 11, 2021 at 07:24 PM
  #1
My husband of 25 years moved out on Sunday. This has been a roller coaster of emotions this past week. We have been having issues for the past 18 months, and nothing has helped to make it better. We were getting to the best part of our lives, with the kids out of college or soon to be, financially stable and able to do what we want. NOW all that is gone! I am angry and sad. This is so painful trying to pick up the pieces of my life and move forward. Although my kids are adults, it's painful for them as well.
How do you deal with this? I do have close friends and family but this heartache is unbelievable!
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Heartbroken2021
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Location: Louisiana
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2 yr Member
Default Jun 13, 2021 at 01:56 PM
  #2
Hi, Soulsearch! I’m sorry you’re going through this. I am happy to have found this forum on the internet. It’s good to connect with people that are going through the same things as one is. In my case, which might look much more simpler than yours, my husband broke up with me 2 months ago. I’m in my 30’s and we do not have kids or common assets. However we had plans of a life together and I loved him deeply. I did not see our relationship failing in any way, except for long distance because we are working in different cities. We had frozen embryos that I had to discard because he does not want them anymore. I had gone through a fertility treatment because I had cancer 2 years ago. I thought that after everything we had overcome we were going to stay together for life. I’m heartbroken. I’m praying God every day to let me get over him. This is my first experience being dumped when I’m still so emotionally involved. I’ve been able to continue with my life and enjoy other aspects of life. However, when I’m alone, I miss him deeply and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I don’t want to overwhelm my friends and family with more of the same. I’m not sure how long the pain is going to last. What has worked better for me is staying busy, but as soon as I put my mind to rest all my feelings start to transpire.
I know talking to others is a huge help. I praise you for having the courage to share your story here.
Make an effort to focus on the good things you have: your kids, your job, and your health! Make a list of the things you like and you haven’t done because of “life” and work on doing them now. I read this book called “it’s called a breakup because it’s broken” and it said the pain gets better at the end of the 3rd month. I’m down two and I still cry sometimes. I’m developing my creative side in ways that make feel better, like planning my outfits for work and putting playlists together of songs that put me in a better mood.
What coping strategies are you using?
Life is a cycle, people come and go, I tell myself every day that letting go is the first step before receiving something even better.
We’ll get through this!
Love,
Heartbroken2021
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soulsearch2021
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Member Since: Jun 2021
Location: Indiana
Posts: 3
2 yr Member
2 hugs
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Default Jun 13, 2021 at 06:57 PM
  #3
Thank you so much for those kind words and advice! You have definitely had life hit you hard and I am so glad you are able to take steps each day to get better. I need to remember letting go in order to receive something better. I know it is true! Thank you so much for reaching out. I have been doing yoga and meditation to help me cope, and they really are helpful. Both train your mind to stay present. When you start worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, that is when it gets very hard. I am trying to stay busy, but this is all so new. I am also making plans on the weekends to do some things I have always wanted to do. I am going kayaking this coming weekend and I am so excited about it! When the roller coaster of emotions hit, I need to remember it's a bad day, not a bad life, but that is easier said than done.
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