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mom23tjm
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Member Since: Jun 2021
Location: New York
Posts: 1
2 yr Member
Default Jun 26, 2021 at 07:56 AM
  #1
Hello everyone, so my husband and i are separated, my story is kind of crazy. We have been married for 23 years. We own a business and about a year and half ago we had this customer, she needed a lot of work done in her house. My husband became friendly with her because he was at her house so much doing work, so she threw a party and we were invited, i didn't go to the party, i had never met her or her husband but my husband did, he said she was very nice and her husband was really nice as well so he felt comfortable going. She ended up sending home food for me and the kids so i found her on facebook and messaged her to thank her. We kept massaging back and forth and quickly became friends. we started hanging out in person doing everything together and when we weren't together she would call or text me all the time. We would go on date nights with her and her husband, we were even going to plan a little trip for the 4 of us to go away. About 6 months after becoming friends with her I started sensing something wasn't right with her, and then after awhile sensing something wasn't right with my husband either. I turned the location on his phone one night and the next day it showed me he was not at work where he was supposed to be, he was actually at the beach. I called him and asked where he was and he said he was at the beach, he knew that I knew. I asked if he was with her, he said yes, i asked if he liked her he said yes. he had told me they had been talking on the phone for almost a year before i met her. Devastated. We decided we were going to work on our marriage, but clearly he didn't want to since he would still sneak around with her. he moved out 2 months later and ended up with her. Her husband was devastated as well. About 6 months later, he came to me crying he made a mistake and he wanted to work on our marriage and how much he loves me and missed me. He still had his apartment because he couldn't break his lease. I decided to give him another chance, people make mistakes. At first things seemed good, i knew it was going to take me time to get over what he had done but we were having a good time together. He would stay some nights at the house some nights at his apartment. She would still call him and text him and try to contact him saying she missed him and was hurting etc. so i asked him to block her. Then he started to change again, distant and cold and not like he was in the beginning. We were back together around 3 months when we had an argument and i hadn't heard from him all day. Around 11pm later on I went to his apartment and sure enough there he was, naked in bed with her. He looked at me and said i love her i want to be with her. Clearly we are now getting divorced. He is back together with her and they are going on vacation in 2 weeks. I am devastated yet again and sick over all of this. i dont know what to do to help myself heal. I am in therapy but this whole situation is on my mind 24/7 and I can't turn it off. How long do most people start to feel better and get used to the idea of not being with the person you have spent half of your life with? How long does it take to accept the betrayal, not only from him but her as well, becoming my friend obviously for one reason only. Thanks for any advice
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Yaowen
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Default Jun 28, 2021 at 11:09 PM
  #2
Dear mom23tjm,

What an utterly heartbreaking situation. I wish I knew what to say to ease your pain and grief or offer helpful advice. Sadly I am at a loss since my English is not very good and I have trouble putting things into words. I sure hope your life improves. You deserve a break! My heart goes out to you!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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