FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
New Member
Member Since Aug 2021
Location: nevada
Posts: 4
2 2 hugs
given |
#1
My husband and I, we're both men, have separated after I discovered his 3rd act of infidelity. We have a daughter so I tried to make it work the first two times for her sake and because I loved him, but my husband never put in the work. He admitted he'd been unfaithful to others before me, which I never knew. I wouldn't have married him if I'd known. We were together 11 years. It's been about 2 weeks since I left him.
We talked a week ago and he admitted it comes down to he isn't willing to do anything emotionally uncomfortable or hard and he even admits at the end of the day I was less important than his desire to do what he wanted, he said he realized he has narcassistic tendancies he has to work on. Now, he was originally going to take our daughter today, he get's visitation and I have custody, but said he couldn't because he needed to clean and there were a bunch of appointments today, which I understood. But then, when our daughter called to say goodnight to him, I found out he was out with our mutual friend group. I just feel so sad and angry and frustrated right now. It isn't fair. Why does he get to walk around having a good time after what he did? I want some sort of justice. I want him to have to suffer for once and I know that's not kind, but it's how I feel. |
Reply With Quote |
Raindropvampire
|
smiling musical soul
Member Since Mar 2010
Location: Indy
Posts: 43,373
(SuperPoster!)
14 1,837 hugs
given |
#2
There's nothing wrong with wanting justice or wanting someone to feel how they have made you feel. I think that's just a natural human reaction to someone inflicting pain(physical or emotional) on us. Unfortunately people like that usually skate by just leaving carnage in their wake.
I don't know if you have a therapist or not but maybe talking to someone to unload all this and help you process it would help? I'm so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through __________________ I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach |
Reply With Quote |
Fox13
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,110
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.3k hugs
given |
#3
He showed you who he really is. Believe him and commit to yourself and your own happiness.
|
Reply With Quote |
Fox13
|
New Member
Member Since Aug 2021
Location: nevada
Posts: 4
2 2 hugs
given |
#4
Thank you, the validation helps. I am seeing a therapist regularly and have been for almost a decade due to past trauma and mental health concerns and it does help, it's just hard and bitterly unfair.
|
Reply With Quote |
Raindropvampire
|
New Member
Member Since Aug 2021
Location: nevada
Posts: 4
2 2 hugs
given |
#5
That's the plan, it's just hard because we share a child and it means I can't completely distance myself from him. The having to see him when my daughter is picked up or dropped off or when we have to discuss co-parenting issues is really hard and painful.
|
Reply With Quote |
Raindropvampire
|