feeling stuck

Hi, I am new to forum, going through a divorce and looking for an advice/ support since there's not that many people around me I can even tell that we had filed for a divorce.
My husband hasn't been working for years, although he is totally capable, and he doesn't help me much with housework, he does not know how to cook and doesn't do laundry, I never hear any word appreciation for working, cooking, cleaning and keeping up to date with kids school and activities, we have nothing in common any more and when he is angry he makes degrading remarks about me... I was the one who filed although my husband claims he had wanted to divorce me all these years.
Now he is saying he is too stressed with job search and other matters that he does not have time to agree on mediator and provide financial disclosures. He says he wants to finish everything amicably through a mediation but every time I try to schedule an appointment he says he is too busy and it's not his priority. I feel stuck. I have to stay in the same house with him cause we have a 13 y/o and I don't want to move out plus I don't make that much money and hiring a lawyer would be too expensive. Because of his unemployment we don't really have much savings cause my wages is not enough and we have to keep borrowing money to maintain this big house, it's really depressing... He says he has trouble concentrating and I should stop pressuring him and he gets very angry when I remind him about moving forward. Should I be patient and give him more time, job interviews seem to be picking up, it's better for me if he finds a job before we finalize the divorce? Or should I go ahead and hire a lawyer? Which is really dreadful cause I don't want to fight and waste money and time for lawyers and court, but it's unbearable to have this person around and not seeing any light in the end of the tunnel...

I'm so sorry for the impossible situation you're in. he's clearly passive aggressive about it and he tries to make it impossible to happen for whatever reasons. there could be a mental disease i guess. i wish i had any answers for you. i know very little about divorce myself. hopefully someone more knowledgeable can chime in.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It definitely sounds like you need to see a lawyer with a minor child and him not working. If I were you, I would set up appointments to with several attorneys to get their opinion about your situation and what payment options there might be. You should be able to get an initial consultation at no cost.

I am also divorced......he is obviously manipulating you, and you get to choose what is best for YOU. At least hire a lawyer and find out the information you need to know.

I am in a very similar situation to you. My husband has been out of work since the end of July; he's 46 and decided that he does not want to work anymore, just retire, and that since I took off 3 1/2 years to stay home with my daughter who is now 14 that he has every right. I want out due to all his negative remarks and constant fighting. I believe that he has become manic depressive with his extreme highs and low, and have asked him to see a doctor. He refuses. I feel stuck as well. He wants the house - fine, but I do not have a ton of money to just move out. And when I have talked about possibly leaving, he tells me he will take me to court and ruin my life, take all the money b/c it is his and owe me nothing (even though we are in CA); the only reason we are in the house is b/c of a special loan I got when I was a teacher. I don't know what to do and came here just to look for others to give advice. Your post was the first I read. I am glad (but not really - you know what I mean) that there are others out there that might be able to relate. Good luck.