Recently divorced and need some tips

Yes Tessa!

She has already secured an attorney. I did not until recently. I have been true to my narrative in wanting to reconcile so we can stay together. I have spilled my guts out with feelings, plans, things to change… clearly to much info… She until recently only gave me tidbits of how she feels. So I continued working with her, being open in hoping that we can find a path through this period of time.

There was a period of 2.5-3 weeks recently where we were talking every other day, texting every day, being silly, teasing, joking… and she said she would think about couples therapy. (I thought we might be building something new) She research it and agreed that it is quite effective IF both spouses can give 100%. But that in the beginning, she was not there yet. So give her time to think about it. I was on cloud 9. Then the day before TGiving, she dropped the hammer, told me she is done! She doesn’t want therapy! She doesn’t want reconciliation! She is done! Broke me in 2 over her knee. Devastated all over again. Later that day, I reviewed and signed the retainer for my attorney and I am waiting for her to be notified (and the courts) that I now have legal representation. She will most likely panic and freak out now.

Yeah, I think we are past a separation agreement I believe. She filed, I responded (all kids info is there) and now the attorneys are involved and I have to complete legal paperwork. Fun.

Jeff,

Understood and good that you have the ball rolling there. Try as hard as you can to not send emotional texts if you feel the urge. Screenshot conversations if they are abusive etc and be aware that she can do that too.. Hopefully it wont come to that. Its hard not to take out your pain on the person you once trusted, but you will get through this.
I am also sure that you know all of this already but just incase !
Tessa

Yes Tessa!

She has already secured an attorney. I did not until recently. I have been true to my narrative in wanting to reconcile so we can stay together. I have spilled my guts out with feelings, plans, things to change… clearly to much info… She until recently only gave me tidbits of how she feels. So I continued working with her, being open in hoping that we can find a path through this period of time.

There was a period of 2.5-3 weeks recently where we were talking every other day, texting every day, being silly, teasing, joking… and she said she would think about couples therapy. (I thought we might be building something new) She research it and agreed that it is quite effective IF both spouses can give 100%. But that in the beginning, she was not there yet. So give her time to think about it. I was on cloud 9. Then the day before TGiving, she dropped the hammer, told me she is done! She doesn’t want therapy! She doesn’t want reconciliation! She is done! Broke me in 2 over her knee. Devastated all over again. Later that day, I reviewed and signed the retainer for my attorney and I am waiting for her to be notified (and the courts) that I now have legal representation. She will most likely panic and freak out now.

Yeah, I think we are past a separation agreement I believe. She filed, I responded (all kids info is there) and now the attorneys are involved and I have to complete legal paperwork. Fun.

Hey Jeff,

Ah I see... And oh boy. I hope she knows what she is doing. It sounds mid life crisis like to me and unfortunately 9 out of 10 people find out that the grass actually snt greener on the other side. Or if it is, only for a second!

Tesss