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StayStrong2021
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Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 3
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#1
I have been married to my wife since 1992 and we have three great children. I met her when she was a senior in HS and I was 19. I always thought of her as my soulmate and thought we would be happy for ever. We used to dream of the future and what we would do. BUT ever since the birth of our first child she began to withdraw. Today we barely speak and she told me I need to pursue interests other than her?? can you believe that? I always thought your husband or wife was supposed to be THE ONE MOST IMPORTANT thing in the marriage. She is now talking about moving out. My fear is this will be the beginning of the final end and she will never come back.
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Yaowen
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Yaowen
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Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618
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#2
I am so very sorry to hear that. What a heartbreaking situation.! Wish I knew what to say to help!
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sarahsweets
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Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
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#3
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I see you are in baltimore. Here are some therapists I found. Quote:
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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moodyblue83
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Member Since: Aug 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 221
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#4
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out of nowhere. You say ever since your first child , when was that ? This type of thing happens in most marriages after a long time together. For whatever reason, and there are many possibilities , she’s going thru some changes. Get yourself some friends or a therapist to talk to and get aquatinted with a lawyer. Also bring up to her if she’s interested in couples counseling. When this happens you tend to think it came out of nowhere but if you look back carefully you’ll see the signs that you probably missed. Best of luck to you. __________________ Trying to Live in the Moment |
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StayStrong2021
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Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 3
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#5
Thank you for the kind words. we have been to multiple counselors over the past 15 years. things start to improve and we just stop going. She is no longer willing to go to couples counseling anymore. My children are boy (24), boy (21), and girl (19). all in college $$. I always did put her first above everything else. my family upbringing taught me that your wife should always be the most important thing in your life. your children eventually grow up and move on but you are supposed to be with your wife for ever. We moved to Baltimore about 20 years ago for my job and left both of our families and close friends behind in Indiana. have not found any really close friends in MD since we left indiana. it sounds crazy but I always thought my wife was my best friend and I would not need any more. perhaps this is why she wants me to pursue "other interests" other than her. She is talking about moving out to just see if it helps her figure things out. She even put a date of 1/10 on the calendar (after the kids go back to school. I don't believe she is "in love" with me anymore just kinda tolerates me. I am now moved from trying to win her love back to trying to just save the marriage.
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New Member
StayStrong2021
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Member Since: Dec 2021
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 3
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#6
Well, it has been very hard today. I am not a very good communicator here (perhaps that is part of the problem) but I am trying. My son asked, while the entire family was present, if he could have his girlfriend stay for a "couple" nights. I knew right off the bat that it would be more than a "couple of days". I asked how many days he was really talking about and he said 6!. That is where the conversation ended. I would have thought my wife and I would have discussed this together but instead she came to me this afternoon and told me when his friend was coming and when she was leaving. She knows leaving me out of these decisions really hurts me. I told her that I live here also and having a guest for several days impacts me as well so we should have discussed it together. She does not see it this way. I have always been the disciplinarian when it comes to the kids which usually ended in an argument between my wife and me. Things that bothered me do not seem to bother her and she almost always sides with the kids. of course they gravitated to mom since she became their advocate for whatever the issue happened to be. I seemed to be the A-Hole and Mom was the good guy. I am grateful we are still in the same house on Christmas Eve but it is getting really hard to not crawl in a hole in my bedroom.
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workinonit32
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