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mytam
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Member Since: Jan 2022
Location: Canada
Posts: 3
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#1
Currently filing for separation and property division. This is all new to me and it's very stressful.
I left the ex on May 16, 2020 back to my parents' place with just clothes and a car from a 6 year marriage due to his 5th DUI, alcohol abuse, mental, physical and verbal abuse, gambling and so on. We have no children together. We owned a house together with a home equity which he agreed at that time he was going to buy me out; however, now he is also going after spousal support because he lost his job due to his DUI. Is this even possible or fair that he gets to keep the home and demand for spousal support? He's playing the "poor me" game. I'm currently living in Canada so some input or advice about Canadian divorce law would be very helpful. And yes i will be getting a lawyer. |
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downandlonely, Open Eyes, RoxanneToto, SprinkL3, WovenGalaxy, Yaowen
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sarahsweets
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Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
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#2
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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SprinkL3
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mytam, RoxanneToto, SprinkL3, unaluna, WovenGalaxy
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Legendary Wise Elder
Open Eyes
Not a Unicorn, just another horse
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,093
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#3
Never listen to an alcoholic drunk. He is responsible for his problems not you. Talk to a lawyer ASAP for your own mental health. He is talking through his alcoholism which is basically talking to a narcissist that wants to blame his problems on you/others
You did the right thing leaving him, thank god you have no children. Some alcoholics get very mean and abusive when they drink. You made the right choice in walking away. |
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mytam, RoxanneToto, Tsfriday, WovenGalaxy
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Open Eyes
Not a Unicorn, just another horse
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,093
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#4
Also, you should look into seeing a therapist so you can get help to heal from being the victim of alcoholic abuse. These individuals can get very intrusive and disrespect boundaries with their self righteous drunkenness.
You deserve to be proud of yourself for deciding to stop living your life at the mercy of that disease. Do not let him pull you into his need to blame YOU as he embraces his drinking and disease. It’s a very narcissistic selfish disease full of very unhealthy drama. Last edited by Open Eyes; Jan 09, 2022 at 03:21 AM.. |
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mytam, RoxanneToto
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downandlonely
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Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
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#5
I don't know anything about divorce laws in Canada. I believe in the US a lot of states don't mandate spousal support anymore if the couple has no children.
Yes, I would get a good divorce lawyer. You did the right thing leaving him if he refuses to address his addiction. You might want to look into Al-Anon meetings to meet others with similar issues. |
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mytam, RoxanneToto
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Legendary Wise Elder
divine1966
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Location: US
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#6
Unfortunately many people choose not to work but then demand spousal support in divorce because the other spouse kept the job and paid the bills. It will depend on the judge. I’d think judge would also look into reasons why he wouldn’t work. If he only didn’t work short period of time then you likely won’t have to pay anything. Also judge likely won’t award him both house and alimony.
I highly recommend you get a lawyer and go from there. Focus on your safety. Good for you leaving him |
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mytam, RoxanneToto
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divine1966
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Location: US
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#7
Quote:
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mytam, WovenGalaxy
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New Member
mytam
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Member Since: Jan 2022
Location: Canada
Posts: 3
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#8
Thank you all for your advice. It was the best decision i ever made leaving the marriage because i was being blamed for everything when I have only known him for a total of 10 years, married 6 years.
So he violated one DUI probation with another DUI recently which triggered all sorts of health conditions and the loss of his job which is why he now wants spousal support with the equalization payment of the property. I have contacted a lawyer and we'll be taking this to docket court first and see what the judge decides then go from here. I'm praying that there is some light at the end of the tunnel for all this. |
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absolutelymaybe, Open Eyes, WovenGalaxy
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Open Eyes, WovenGalaxy
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Open Eyes
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
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#9
The thing this man will continue to show is how his alcoholism ALWAYS comes first. He will continue by trying to get you to pay so he can feed his problem.
I seriously doubt you will be expected to continue paying so he can keep putting that disease first. Keep us posted. You made the right choice by breaking free. |
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mytam
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Molinit
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Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 838
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#10
Ladies and gentlemen: Too late for this OP, but PLEASE READ what can happen when you marry an addict with the hope that you will change his or her underemployed, underachieving, abusive personality. Sometimes it doesn't end with the end of the marriage!
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mytam, Open Eyes
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