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BrokenDad
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Member Since: Jan 2022
Location: Louisiana
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Default Jan 18, 2022 at 08:02 PM
  #1
There is so much to this that I don't know what part to be upset about. Married for 15 years, been together since highschool. It's been bad for a while. Probably 8 years, we stayed together for the kids though. She had problems with gambling first, then pills. It has gotten really bad now. I found out she was cheating on me a month ago and scamming people online for lots of money. I saw proof in her phone. She scammed women with cancer too. I'm not sure what hurt more, her cheating or the scamming she was doing. It put me in a bad position where I had to do something so I wouldn't get in trouble for what she was doing. I contacted everyone I could find that she scammed told them who she really was and any info they needed. I talked to a detective about it and gave him everything I could about it. I've talked to a lawyer and I'm about to start the divorce. We have 4 kids also. She has turned 2 (15y/o boy and 10y/ogirl)against me for not making our marriage work. Our 8 y/o boy stayed with me and will barely talk to her and our 2 year old boy is with me. Having to report her felt like it ripped my soul out. Even after all she has done and there is much more to it I'm still struggling getting over her. I know I have to protect myself for the kids sake but I struggle to go against her like this. Now I have much more evidence against her that I need to turn over to the authorities but it's eating me alive thinking about doing it. She may go to jail for a long time which she deserves, I just hate that my kids won't have a mom around. They love her so much and I hate this all.
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Yaowen
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Default Jan 19, 2022 at 06:25 PM
  #2
What a difficult and utterly heartbreaking situation!

It must be so difficult for you weighing the pros and cons of all the courses of action you are considering. Seems like you are looking at things with perspective and balance.

I don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes. I am someone who has trouble with emotions and clear thinking.

Seems like you are being faced with agonizing decisions. The whole situation must be incredibly hard on your children too. Wish I knew what to say to help but I am really at a loss.
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Imtrying2022
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Location: Fayetteville NC
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Default Jan 20, 2022 at 11:40 PM
  #3
Hello there, first of all it takes a lot of strength to even stand up to the situation and put your kids and yourself first. Not to assume but she seems beyond selfish and doesn’t have you or the kids in mind when she’s being so destructive.

To use children in relationships against another parent is extremely toxic and overall hurts them in the long run, the most.

Unfortunately, sometimes addicts or people who take advantage of the ones they love like this, deserve a wake up call. You’re doing your best it sounds like and I’d say just try and be consistent, show your kids your love with actions.

In the end they’ll know that you’ve done all you can for them. For your family. Stay strong.
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Rose76
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Default Jan 21, 2022 at 08:53 AM
  #4
I'm sorry you are in such a horribly painful situation. I'm sorry for your children. I wonder if you have any family who are supportive, like the children's grandparents. You're going to need help to get through this.

I think you did well to talk to a detective. I hope you have a good attorney guiding you through the divorce process. Your wife sounds like a very disturbed woman. She too will need and have a right to legal counsel. Don't try and project what her future will hold. There's no telling how the legal system will deal with her. Let law enforcement be responsible for alerting any victims of her scamming activity. I don't think you should have any further contact with these 3rd parties. You've given info to the police. They'll handle restraining her from further illegal activity.

All of this is going to be very confusing to your 4 children. Keep a level head and try to avoid emotional outbursts around them. It sounds like you and your wife have physically separated. That may lessen some of the emotional chaos. Discuss everything with your attorney, who should be able to offer you basic guidance. If you can afford it, you might benefit from seeing a therapist who specializes in family breakdown.

Don't speak ill of your wife to the children, which it sounds like you are not inclined to do. In the long run they'll respect you more if you speak of her with compassion for whatever breakdown of mind and character that has her gone so far off the rails. You face many tough challenges. Take it one day at a time.
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