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Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 239
11 3 hugs
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#1
Well after almost 7 years, He decides he wants out and ends our relationship. Not before he met someone in the bar and started spending time with her and hiding money to spend on her. He swears nothing sexual happened but at this point what real difference would that make. He has already lied, hid money, betrayed me, and was spending time with her behind my back saying he was doing other things. Not only that but I had been dealing with him having online relationships with women off and on for 2 years. I feel so stupid for trying to forgive him and move past it when he never stopped and had no intention of stopping. Even after he saw what it was doing to me he just kept it up. The last time I caught him, he was talking to 4 different women at the same time. About a year and half ago he suggested we go to marriage counseling all the while knowing he was still having a ldr with a woman. He was just lying to the therapist and myself the whole entire time. I feel so humiliated. Now I don't trust anything he says. Everytime I see him on his phone, which is all the time, he is using it.
The worst part is still being dependent on him. I have some health issues and have not been able to walk since August 14, 2020 when I fractured my knee cap and tore my medial meniscus. I'm waiting to have a total knee replacement but can't get cleared for surgery due to issues with my liver. I need him to get to my appointments and surgeries. I am currently stuck in a recliner in our bedroom which he has to help me out of and get everything I need. I am so humiliated everytime I have to ask for his help. He even said watching me day in and day out in pain got to be too much for him. He can't handle my health situation eventhough I fully explained everything before we even started dating. Plus this current situation is temporary. As soon as I get cleared for surgery, I will have my other knee replacement and be able to walk and drive myself. As you can tell, we are still living together because we can't afford for him to move out on his own. I have no clue when we will have the money so this living situation is going on indefinitely which is killing me. He says he wants to keep things as normal as we can for the kids when he moves which is great for the kids but I don't know if I can handle seeing him at all. It's just going to hurt too much especially if he starts seeing other women. I don't know what to do. This is not how my life was supposed to be. I don't like this new life and I can't live this new life. Sorry so long Sent from my SM-N986U using Tapatalk |
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New Member
Member Since Jan 2022
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 4
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#2
First, remember you are not alone.
Second, you WILL get through this. ...and the rest is practical advice. Talk to your doctor and explain your dilemma. He may be able to order home healthcare for you, which would mean an aide could visit you and help you with your physical needs. Can you move in with a friend or family member? Having him as your only emotional support is not good for you, obviously. I was married over 20 years. The divorce happened 10 years ago. I did get past it, and you will too! It wasn't easy but few things worth pursuing are easy. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,115
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#3
You mentioned children, did the two of you have children together? How old are they?
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Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 239
11 3 hugs
given |
#4
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,115
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13 21.3k hugs
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#5
Children that young do not understand a lot of things about life and relationships. You are not in a position right now to make changes. I am sorry that you are so physically dependent right now. It’s an awful feeling to be dependent on someone that is so selfish. Sounds like he is looking for a woman he can live off of and can feed his ego.
He doesn’t have the capacity to respect and care about you. Often people get stuck in relations that are unhealthy and they keep hoping the partner will change. Most of the time a person doesn’t change, but just gets better at BSing. What you have to do is focus on doing whatever it takes to regain your health and have a roof over your head for yourself and your children. Are you able to get financial help for being disabled? |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 239
11 3 hugs
given |
#6
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,115
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.3k hugs
given |
#7
Unfortunately there are a lot of people who live together, only doing so because they can’t afford any other way.
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