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F1ndingPeace
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Member Since: Feb 2022
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2 yr Member
Default Feb 08, 2022 at 07:07 AM
  #1
I've been married for a year and I am applying for divorce.. Too many things that went wrong with my marriage, and its at an unsalvageable point. How do I deal with the uncertainty that comes? Like this is simultaneously the best thing and the worst thing happening to me. Best thing because I have a newfound sense of freedom; worst thing because I had a plan and now its on fire. For the first time in my life, i dont know what I am going to do next year.. I have a job which is probably the best thing that happened to me. But societal expectations are bad. People will be like "oh you are young, why dont you get married again". I am terrified of even meeting anyone new at this point.. Its like i cant trust myself anymore. Is this normal? Does everyone go through this?
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Yaowen
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Default Feb 08, 2022 at 10:57 PM
  #2
Wish I knew what to say that would help, but I don't have experience with marriage and divorce. Hopefully members who do will see your post and respond to it in kindly and helpful ways. I so hope things work out for you. Often things turn out better than we expect and I hope that will be the case for you. You deserve a good life where you can have some peace of mind and real joy of living!
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Foolishheart
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Default Feb 11, 2022 at 12:34 PM
  #3
Finding peace, I am happy for you that you were able to see that things weren't working out so soon in your marriage. If you didn't have any children together then that will make your transition a lot easier. It is normal to be fearful of the uncertainty that is coming. You say that for the first time you don't know where you'll be in one year. Well, does it really matter? Focus your energy on today. You are getting a divorce which sounds like a good thing for you because you realize you will be free to do as you please. That feeling of freedom is very exciting! And it's not just about dating other people or being intimate with other people, it's about you and the little things. Things like listening to music that you love and turning up the volume as loud as you want. Going out for a walk anytime, anywhere and not having to tell someone about it. Or just not having to answer a phone call or a text and not feeling bad about disregarding it. Plans are made to be broken. Don't worry about it. You will create a new plan when a new door opens for you. Please don't fall into what society wants or expects you to do. Do what you want to do. It's your life. Enjoy your freedom for as long as you want and maybe one day as you are enjoying your freedom you will meet someone who is great for you, but don't worry about finding someone right away. Find your happiness. It is completely normal to have feelings you are feeling. Things will have a way of working out, no force needed. Be grateful and kind to yourself. Hope this helped.
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