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Etcetera1
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Member Since: Jan 2022
Location: Europe
Posts: 319
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Default Apr 14, 2022 at 04:47 PM
  #21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive. View Post
Your very own words:
"Looking back, I could have done better as a husband".
"Apparently the gaming was a little too much (looking back, it was)"
"My dumb self said 'then I guess divorce is next'"
"Looking back, I lacked interest in her and I recognized that"

Now, SHE is the one being ridiculous?! Wow. If your intention is "I'm sort of using counseling as that session in which it may help her realize how ridiculous she is being" then it is better off if you divorced, as was YOUR suggestion in the first place.

What happened to owning your part in it? Of how you were not the best husband, not always there etc. when your wife was carrying your child and struggling with post-partum depression.

Now the narrative has changed - SHE is the one who is demonised and being "ridiculous"?!

At least, whatever you do and whatever issues you have with your wife, please don't drag an innocent child through a rough (contested) divorce. There is no need to traumatise that little girl because of whatever recriminations you now hold against the mother of your child.
I frankly think him calling her "being ridiculous" is rather mild in the face of him having been accused of being a narcissist *and* having been accused of lying on the tests about it. When she's not a psychiatrist with qualifications whatsoever.

Like I said I'd have my blood boiling if I was accused of such things. I think no one should be accepting of such severe character attacks and pathologising. Or how is that's not being demonised?

Maybe you'd like to read the parts in the OP about him being responsible and taking care of things. Or where he says here that he said he's taking responsibility for 85% of things going wrong. When would an actual narcissist say that?

(Please don't respond to my questions, they are all rhetorical.)
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Open Eyes
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Default Apr 16, 2022 at 04:06 PM
  #22
Thanks for the update. I am sorry your attempts to work things out have been met with so much negativity. You can try but you can’t make another person change their mind.

One thing you don’t want is for your young child to see the two of you argue. Little ones absorb a lot and have no way of understanding.

I think it’s a good idea that you get therapy for yourself so you get support and advise on minimizing negative exchanges with your wife.
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