Hurting from hurting her

After taking a year and a half apart after I cheated on my partner, we recently got back together. We’ve been back together for about four months now and throughout those four months, we’ve taken trips together, camped and even considered moving back in. I guess you could say things were going pretty well. It’s been a week since we've reconnected, due to the way I handled her trigger of the past. It’s happened about 4-5 times now, where I shut down and feel shame and guilt and remorse for the wrongs I’ve done. This last trigger of hers, we needed up in an argument and I regret saying what I said. Since she has only heard about how badly I want to change and have the capacity to support her in her times of need, and not seen it through my actions, it’s caused her to be radio silent for a week. I mean it now more then ever that change is happening and I am doing the work now to get over my shame and guilt and truly hold her when she needs me most and show my compassion and sympathy. I’m sad, depressed, missing her and want to reconcile more then anything. She said she’s trying to see if her feeling of love for me will return, I’m giving her all the time in the world to figure it out but Im missing her so much and am desperate to tell her that she need not worry if my words will match my actions anymore. It’s too late I fear, sha cut off from me emotionally and I think she’s moving on. Im devastated and not in a good place right now😩

Thanks for sharing. Best wishes...

You said you were apart for a year and a half and then you said you’ve been back together for 4 months. Then you say it’s been a week since you’ve “reconnected “
Slightly confused. What are these triggers you talk about ? If she’s triggering you and you respond with “ radio silence “ and a lot of guilt and shame. Well , that’s on you to work on the guilt and shame. Also wouldn’t want to get back with someone who constantly brings up the past.
You say your missing her but it sounds from your post like you are together.
You both have a lot to work thru.
Best of luck to you……

So, what can you learn from this?