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SushiNCorn
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Confused Sep 20, 2022 at 02:54 PM
  #1
I am recently separated & in the process of getting divorced. And of course as some of you may know, one immediate feeling that follows a separation/divorce is the phase of loneliness.
At such times, you need friends & family around. Although I have been blessed with a wonderful set of family & friends, unfortunately in my case my separation/divorce is coming at a time when my friends are also going through major life changes (which I will not go into the details of). But the gist of it is I am at a stage where most of my friends have recently moved cities/countries or are busy with other priorities in their lives.
4-6 months ago all my weekends were spent in the company of these friends-like-family. But now, my weekends are spent alone.
My family also lives in different cities & we cannot be in the same city due to work commitments.
And all of this at a time when I am also dealing with a divorce.
The end result: bouts of utter loneliness & the sadness that it brings with it.
Any suggestions, ideas, experiences? I would love to hear & learn.

Love,
SushiNCorn
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Default Sep 20, 2022 at 09:51 PM
  #2
So sorry you are going through this ordeal. I often suffer from bouts of utter loneliness and sadness although for different reasons than the ones that are causing you grief. I do volunteer work to help with the situation since it allows me to be around people but does not tie me down the way a regular job would. There are certain restaurants I frequent where I have come to know the staff and have made friends this way. I hope you get many responses to your post and want to tell you again how sorry I am that you are in the unhappy situation you describe. Sorry I could not be more helpful to you. Yao Wen
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Default Sep 21, 2022 at 10:10 AM
  #3
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. You're recently separated and your friends/family all happen to be busy, so you can really learn to enjoy being alone again. If your friends were more available, you might end up just relying on them for companionship/solace and telling the same story over and over again. Maybe this will force you to move forward more quickly.

Why don't you think back on all the things since you were a kid that you enjoyed doing that perhaps fell to the wayside due to "adult life." Did you enjoy reading? Writing? Drawing? Music? A language to learn? You could make a list. Perhaps this is the right time to pick one of them back up and immerse yourself in it. And there are sooooo many online resources for learning things nowadays compared to before. For instance, I always wanted to learn calligraphy since high school, but the barrier to entry was too high--but now, there are so many great online tutorials and resources to make it accessible. There are websites like edx and udemy, or like The Postman's Knock (where I learn calligraphy), and also group activity websites like Meetup where I do language learning. And another advantage is that you can meet new people that way. I treasure the friends I've had for a long time, but new friends can be a breath of fresh air when you're needing a change or are trying to move your life to a new phase.

Maybe this way, instead of dreading another lonely weekend, you can start anticipating them because you're planning on doing something that truly excites you. I personally treat my alone time as something extremely precious.
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SushiNCorn
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Default Sep 21, 2022 at 02:08 PM
  #4
Thanks for a wonderful suggestion, I have actually recently started pursuing my hobby of singing which I lost somewhere along the way. That is definitely helping.
Meetup is a great idea. I hadn't thought of that... Thank you so much

Quote:
Originally Posted by DoroMona View Post
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. You're recently separated and your friends/family all happen to be busy, so you can really learn to enjoy being alone again. If your friends were more available, you might end up just relying on them for companionship/solace and telling the same story over and over again. Maybe this will force you to move forward more quickly.

Why don't you think back on all the things since you were a kid that you enjoyed doing that perhaps fell to the wayside due to "adult life." Did you enjoy reading? Writing? Drawing? Music? A language to learn? You could make a list. Perhaps this is the right time to pick one of them back up and immerse yourself in it. And there are sooooo many online resources for learning things nowadays compared to before. For instance, I always wanted to learn calligraphy since high school, but the barrier to entry was too high--but now, there are so many great online tutorials and resources to make it accessible. There are websites like edx and udemy, or like The Postman's Knock (where I learn calligraphy), and also group activity websites like Meetup where I do language learning. And another advantage is that you can meet new people that way. I treasure the friends I've had for a long time, but new friends can be a breath of fresh air when you're needing a change or are trying to move your life to a new phase.

Maybe this way, instead of dreading another lonely weekend, you can start anticipating them because you're planning on doing something that truly excites you. I personally treat my alone time as something extremely precious.
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