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View Poll Results: Can marriage survive without sex?
Yes 3 27.27%
Yes
3 27.27%
No 3 27.27%
No
3 27.27%
It depends 5 45.45%
It depends
5 45.45%
In my experience 1 9.09%
In my experience
1 9.09%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 11. You may not vote on this poll

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HopelessinCT
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Mad Dec 26, 2022 at 05:39 PM
  #1
After 10 years together l am currently separated from my spouse. Even though the separation is mutual, we are attempting to salvage the marriage. The goal is to figure out are we better off divorced or together. But since all intimacy, romance and sex life has died is this marriage worth saving. Any there any successful marriages out there that focus on parenting and partnership? Is there any hope in enduring a marriage without the intimacy? We are pretty much both not interested in sex at this point.

Advice?
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TishaBuv
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Default Dec 26, 2022 at 09:49 PM
  #2
Sex may be better with a different partner. You both may be disinterested in sex with each other, but could be interested with other people.

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Default Dec 27, 2022 at 12:43 AM
  #3
You've mentioned parenting, so I assume you and your spouse are fairly young...20's or 30's.

I don't have much information at all about your lives. What are your genders, your careers (or not), family support (or not), there just isn't any background info.

So I'll just toss out my general experience. I've been married for 40-ish years. My husband and I have raised two children, a daughter and a son. We had a "normal" marriage/family life (all 4 of us living together as a family, my husband and I in a traditional husband-wife relationship, including a sexual one) for the first 16 or so years of our marriage. Then we began to have major marital problems.

My husband and I stopped being intimate and managed some kind of schedule around parenting. It was miserable for all of us, and so sad. All the sweetness of our little family began melting away. The kids were teens and it was hard on them, having parents who were like ice to each other (because that's what happens when the warmth is gone from a marriage).

After a bit my husband moved away from the children and I to another town. He and I have remained married, but have not lived together for well over a decade. We are friends and live close to each other. We have never been intimate again.

When the intimacy left the marriage so did the heart of it, plain and simple. The playfulness, the tenderness, the affection. I find myself intolerant of him in ways I wouldn't be if only he would do something as sweet as hold me or kiss me on the cheek. I was terrified of divorcing, so never did. But now I live alone and wonder WTH I've done to my life.

So celibacy...I guess a marriage could survive it. Very, very rarely. Certainly more easily an older couple, married a long time, sure. But a couple married only ten years? There sure better be a massive amount of love, fun, romance, tenderness, caring, listening, respect, affection, and loads of other amazing things going on.

I'm thinking out loud.

Honestly? A young couple? Not likely, no. No. I'm sorry.

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Default Dec 27, 2022 at 04:49 AM
  #4
I think a high percentage of marriages go through a challenge/change at or around the 10 year mark. I think this has to do with stages of personal growth that is inevitable for each person.

Life changes each of us and no one really means to out grow a partner but it happens a lot. I think that nature plays a big role in this because nature’s main drive is about reproduction. This does change as a person gets older. There is a chemical aspect that is beyond ones awareness.

I think there is an ideal and that doesn’t always go along with how we go through changes.
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