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View Poll Results: Can marriage survive without sex? | ||||||
Yes | 3 | 27.27% | ||||
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No | 3 | 27.27% | ||||
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It depends | 5 | 45.45% | ||||
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In my experience | 1 | 9.09% | ||||
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Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 11. You may not vote on this poll |
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New Member
HopelessinCT
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Member Since: Dec 2022
Location: Stamford
Posts: 5
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#1
After 10 years together l am currently separated from my spouse. Even though the separation is mutual, we are attempting to salvage the marriage. The goal is to figure out are we better off divorced or together. But since all intimacy, romance and sex life has died is this marriage worth saving. Any there any successful marriages out there that focus on parenting and partnership? Is there any hope in enduring a marriage without the intimacy? We are pretty much both not interested in sex at this point.
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Fuzzybear
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Legendary
TishaBuv
It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122
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#2
Sex may be better with a different partner. You both may be disinterested in sex with each other, but could be interested with other people.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Fuzzybear
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#3
You've mentioned parenting, so I assume you and your spouse are fairly young...20's or 30's.
I don't have much information at all about your lives. What are your genders, your careers (or not), family support (or not), there just isn't any background info. So I'll just toss out my general experience. I've been married for 40-ish years. My husband and I have raised two children, a daughter and a son. We had a "normal" marriage/family life (all 4 of us living together as a family, my husband and I in a traditional husband-wife relationship, including a sexual one) for the first 16 or so years of our marriage. Then we began to have major marital problems. My husband and I stopped being intimate and managed some kind of schedule around parenting. It was miserable for all of us, and so sad. All the sweetness of our little family began melting away. The kids were teens and it was hard on them, having parents who were like ice to each other (because that's what happens when the warmth is gone from a marriage). After a bit my husband moved away from the children and I to another town. He and I have remained married, but have not lived together for well over a decade. We are friends and live close to each other. We have never been intimate again. When the intimacy left the marriage so did the heart of it, plain and simple. The playfulness, the tenderness, the affection. I find myself intolerant of him in ways I wouldn't be if only he would do something as sweet as hold me or kiss me on the cheek. I was terrified of divorcing, so never did. But now I live alone and wonder WTH I've done to my life. So celibacy...I guess a marriage could survive it. Very, very rarely. Certainly more easily an older couple, married a long time, sure. But a couple married only ten years? There sure better be a massive amount of love, fun, romance, tenderness, caring, listening, respect, affection, and loads of other amazing things going on. I'm thinking out loud. Honestly? A young couple? Not likely, no. No. I'm sorry. __________________ |
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Fuzzybear, HopelessinCT, TishaBuv
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Legendary Wise Elder
Open Eyes
Not a Unicorn, just another horse
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
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#4
I think a high percentage of marriages go through a challenge/change at or around the 10 year mark. I think this has to do with stages of personal growth that is inevitable for each person.
Life changes each of us and no one really means to out grow a partner but it happens a lot. I think that nature plays a big role in this because nature’s main drive is about reproduction. This does change as a person gets older. There is a chemical aspect that is beyond ones awareness. I think there is an ideal and that doesn’t always go along with how we go through changes. |
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sadmanagain, TishaBuv
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