Looking for Success Stories

Hi I’m new here. I’ve spent time reading others posts and see a lot of people hurt and stuck and not knowing how to move forward. My marriage after almost 25 years has come to a standstill. I love my husband but I know that I’ve outgrown him and this relationship.. I know that divorce will devastate him and I want to protect him from that any way I can. I find myself feeling terrible guilt when I think of a future where I can experience a sense of wholeness that this marriage has never given me. I know it is best for both of us. And I believe we can remain friends once the hard pet is over. But I just don’t know how to move forward. What steps to take to minimize the pain for both of us. Any advice from someone whose been there and better on the other side is appreciated.

I once seriously (or at least made a lame divorce attempt and had years of confusion) thought about leaving (we have been married 35 years) but chose to stay. Now that the decision is made, I can concentrate on more productive things. The confusion and indecision is not any fun. I truly hope you get past that part
Yes, there are many at this forum who get "stuck" but perhaps many have also moved on and just aren't posting anymore. Prayers and hugs.

I know that it is tough, maybe boring, or even striving to find that "honeymoon phase." But those feelings will be short lived and life will be full of ups and downs no matter who you are with. If it is just wanting to be whole, then you can find that while being in the relationship, if it is the marriage that had gotten stale, you should try and change it up. Marriage will be like a new iPhone, once you have the iPhone, the phone will start to become normal. As you upgrade to a new phone, the excitement is there, but then it will become normal. Happiness starts with us, and that is only can be found within ourselves. Hopefully that helped.

It was not easy for me. I filed for divorce twice. The first time, after being separated for years, I felt like a weight had been lifted. The second time, I knew it was the right thing to do but was hard. I thought I would get lonely; thus far, that has not happened. When I go home, I am at peace.

In my first marriage, I tried everything I could so I don't have regrets of having tried this or that. The second time around, I knew certain things wouldn't change and I just couldn't live with them.

I sought professional counseling and it provided different perspectives.

In my experience, the pain could not have been minimized. It was very uncomfortable at times. Both my first ex husband and my second wanted to remain friends. I was hurt pretty bad with the first one so I decided to stop having contact - he didn't reach out to me either. Nothing dramatic; we just stopped communicating. The second one, is still a friend and we still talk. No children involved, so there was a possibility of a clean break. Am not sure if you have a family - because that is another factor to consider.

There is no guarantee that you will be happier after divorce. I know some people who are in denial and remain in unhappy marriages. I knew I could take care of myself so was not stranded financially.

Lately, I've been watching videos with James Sexton, a divorce lawyer. I agree with most of what he says.

At this juncture, I am doing well alone. I do not desire to be in a relationship.