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JMT1980
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Member Since: Mar 2023
Location: Bristol
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Default Mar 06, 2023 at 09:31 AM
  #1
I’ll try to keep this brief.

After 14 years of marriage i am now divorced. My ex is from the Middle East and lives there with our son.

She abandoned the marriage long ago and became emotionally unavailable. I stayed for my son as I couldn’t bear to be without him.

I needed a work visa to stay in the country but wanted to change my job - this was not allowed as you needed something called a non-objection certificate so I decided to change career and move back to the UK (she long spoke about moving but suddenly decided not to without speaking with me ). My ex never supported me or encouraged me - she just expected me to stay in the job for the next twenty years. As a local she gets to change her job and receive CPD - as an expat this was not available to me.

I have started a new life in a new city with a brand new career. I’m now struggling as I’m away from my son who wants to be with me. As I’m starting from scratch, I’m not financially stable enough for him to come and be with me.

The weight of all this change is sometimes too much and I feel hopeless and completely lost and wonder whether I will ever regain my place in the world.

At the age of 42 I also feel like damaged goods and that nobody would want ever want to be with me again.

I suppose I’d like to hear from people who feel/felt like I do now.

Does it get better?

Thanks for sharing.
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Open Eyes
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Default Mar 06, 2023 at 12:13 PM
  #2
Significant change is hard on the mind. It’s normal to feel lost and out of sorts for a while. Human beings are creatures of habit so it takes time to develop new habits. Early 40s is not old. Many start businesses and change careers at that age.

You are not a loser. You can still meet someone else and have a loving relationship.
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Default Mar 06, 2023 at 12:37 PM
  #3
If you are divorced,do you share custody with your wife or have some visitation rights? If you are financially struggling and your ex works,check with your state ,if you can get some sort of alimony to jump start your life.Check with your lawyer if you can have your son,while the mother provides for the child until you figure that out.You will be ok.Good luck.
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