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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,251
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#621
That’s good that you had a positive experience. I personally think that when ending a relationship it is best to spend time regrouping and reestablishing a healthy sense of self again. It’s really only then that you can be ready to consider engaging in another relationship.
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JustTotallyLost
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JustTotallyLost
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
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#622
Quote:
I have to have a woman that appeals to me visually. I would have to have a wife has a certain look and build and i doubt i will ever find the complete "package" of looks and characters, so I think I'm better off to just try and fill my life with other things, despite a higher than average sex drive for 57. This isn't based on magazines or porn or anything like that. It's very simply based on girls I dated in high school and what I find attractive. I prefer taller, slender women and I've seen several in their 50's that just so totally looked "right" to me. It's not about being physically "perfect," but it's about having certain qualities that just strike me and hold my attention, even if that woman ages, those basic things just have to be there. I've seen several 50-57 year old women here where I live in SoCal that totally fit the bill as far as looks are concerned, but I'm just not willing (neither have i the self-confidence) to start investigating/dating again. When I was 48, I dated a Latin woman 15 years older than me. She was petite, small-breasted and had birthed two children. Yet, to this day, I still regard her as one of the most physically beautiful women I have ever dated, and her personality was incredible. However, she eventually told me she was too worried about our age difference to continue our relationship. I work with an attorney who is 62. I would never admit this to anyone, but she is so absolutely stunning that I can easily get tongue-tied around her if I'm not careful. I guess I'm just too tired to go shopping anymore.... Last edited by JustTotallyLost; Sep 11, 2023 at 04:07 PM.. |
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Open Eyes
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
1 138 hugs
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#623
Hope you are having a wonderful day....
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Open Eyes
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
1 138 hugs
given |
#624
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Open Eyes
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,251
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.5k hugs
given |
#625
I never got involved with Facebook. I felt it could potentially be toxic. I like my privacy. Also, I worked a lot and did not have time to engage like that. I also had so much social interaction with my business that I enjoyed having my own private space.
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
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#626
Quote:
Very cool. It's all about staying connected with my folks and kids, plus the band and other musicians |
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Open Eyes
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
1 138 hugs
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#627
I'm kinda getting better a little bit at a time I think. There's still confusion and bitterness. I cry sometimes for no reason. I miss my home and my backyard.
I did find a woman on Facebook who went through exactly what my wife is currently going through, literally word for word. I mean, it was shockingly accurate. If you send me an email, I'll share screenshots of her FB message with you. |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
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#628
I can't seem to get past being discarded. That seems to be the thing that hangs onto my thoughts.
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Open Eyes
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,251
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.5k hugs
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#629
I don’t think it’s you personally but more about how deeply she has been traumatized and experiences a lot of emotional triggers with any kind of intimacy. She doesn’t feel safe within herself.
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
1 138 hugs
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#630
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Open Eyes
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
1 138 hugs
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#631
I'm trying
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Open Eyes
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
1 138 hugs
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#632
@Open Eyes - hope you are having a great day!
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Open Eyes
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
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#633
One thing I have learned, and I learned it the hard way, is to not let things get to me and to not see my opinion or feelings as the only options.
I was so inflexible with my wife on so many things and there was simply no reason to be that way. There is not a day that goes by I do not regret that aspect of my old self. The dog hair from the German sheppard living in the house bothered me so much. The fact that nobody else washed dishes bothered me. The fact that when people spilled something, they didn't clean it up properly and I could feel the stickiness on the tile floor bothered me. And I would vent and complain a d what a useless waste of the precious seconds of our lives. I doubt I will ever be married or even have a significant other in the future, but one thing I can say with the utmost clarity, is that I will never, ever complain about such trivial things ever again... I won't waste my time because we are all living on borrowed time... |
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ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
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#634
I haven't heard from my wife in weeks. Today she asked if I could help her with a business transaction. Of course, I agreed.
About 30 minutes later, she texted that she recently went to a counselor and the counselor said she "was not ready to meet with me." I was puzzled, but I was also surprised she was going to counselor. |
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ArmorPlate108, Open Eyes
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,251
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13 21.5k hugs
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#635
This could be her checking to see if you will still give in to her. There may not really be a counselor.
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ArmorPlate108
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
1 138 hugs
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#636
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Open Eyes
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
1 138 hugs
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#637
She asked specifically for me to help her file a business document with the state. I believed it a sincere and reasonable request???
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,251
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.5k hugs
given |
#638
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JustTotallyLost
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
1 138 hugs
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#639
I'm better today. I think I've cried it all out.
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Open Eyes
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Member
Member Since Jul 2023
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 418
1 138 hugs
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#640
Friday!!!!
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