I Think I Learned Too Late:

JustTotallyLost · Aug 25, 2023 at 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

It sounds like you are in a very confused emotional state and at a genuine “loss”. This is a very personal challenge and has a lot to do with very early imprinting and your personal journey of finding ways to navigate.

It’s important that you don’t beat yourself up while experiencing this personal evaluation. From what you have shared, you do use whatever you do have to work hard to generate funds to make gains. So, you do have a good sense of work ethic.

I think that you wanted to get respect from a class of people that tend to mostly be entitled and use. When you begin to see the reality there is the desire to run home to some kind of safe. That is a very normal human response.

Feelings are not always fact however, so it’s important to take the time to slowly evaluate. The reason for this is that you don’t want to dismiss the things you did that were and are positives.

Yep, great perspective. Totally nailed my feelings.

Open Eyes · Aug 25, 2023 at 05:11 PM

If you focus too much on loss you may miss some important freedoms you now have.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 25, 2023 at 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

If you focus too much on loss you may miss some important freedoms you now have.

You are very wise indeed.

I'm realizing a lot of things now that i didn't see when i was "submerged" in the relationship.

The guy who was told "you're lucky to have me because nobody would ever want you," suddenly has women 30 years younger leaving lipstick kisses on his cheek after a performance.

I have more money than ive ever had since i have been married.

After 4 years of celibacy, im choosing not to engage in purely recreational sex, although its nice to know its available.

I'm no longer hearing a constant repertoire of negative traits.

My house is always clean.

Its a good life

JustTotallyLost · Aug 25, 2023 at 08:26 PM

I'm getting better, one day at a time

JustTotallyLost · Aug 26, 2023 at 01:21 PM

Good Morning Empathic Friends....God bless you

Open Eyes · Aug 26, 2023 at 05:13 PM

You playing tonite?

JustTotallyLost · Aug 26, 2023 at 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

You playing tonite?

Not tonight. Going to dinner with my drummer friend.

Open Eyes · Aug 26, 2023 at 05:46 PM

Have a nice dinner 😊

JustTotallyLost · Aug 26, 2023 at 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Have a nice dinner 😊

Awwwwww...Bless you!!!!

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023 at 12:21 AM

Great breakfast, great rehearsal, great dinner too!@@!

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023 at 05:27 AM

Wow, what a long day. I woke up at 3am and decided to go back to sleep.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023 at 09:14 AM

Lessons learned.

I'm more than one person's opinion of me

I have more potential than i ever imagined

I am blessed far more than i originally thought

Open Eyes · Aug 27, 2023 at 10:56 AM

Determining your value by asking others if you are good enough is not going to give you your true worth. Instead it gives others way too much power and is actually what attracts narcissistic people to you to suck you into servicing their needs and becoming their enabler and codependent.

JustTotallyLost · 12:21 PM

@Open Eyes: Did i tell you about the girl i met at Taco Bell 33 years ago???

Well, i found her living here in SoCal.

Open Eyes · Aug 27, 2023 at 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustTotallyLost

@Open Eyes: Did i tell you about the girl i met at Taco Bell 33 years ago???

Well, i found her living here in SoCal.

Yes, you said you were going to meet her for dinner. Did you do that yet?

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023 at 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Yes, you said you were going to meet her for dinner. Did you do that yet?

We haven't met up yet, but we message everyday.

Yesterday, she sent me a message that made my knees buckle, but not in the way you think

I've only sent her prayers, healing affirmation videos and encouraging texts.

Last night, I sent her this:

"You are such an amazing person. I want you to know that. Blessings be upon you tonight."

She replied thusly:

"Thank you Robert, you're uplifting and loyal 🙏"

The fact she somehow referenced or saw loyalty in me touched me in the deepest part of my soul.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023 at 05:24 PM

I can't explain any of this.

Open Eyes · Aug 27, 2023 at 06:01 PM

What are you trying to explain?

JustTotallyLost · 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

What are you trying to explain?

How she somehow saw loyalty in me from just a week or so of us messaging.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023 at 07:12 PM

I sent her this 5 minutes ago....

My thoughts about you as I'm waiting to get my hair cut....

She speaks with her heart,

A splendid language nobody else knows,

But i can understand it,

She sees life in vibrant color,

She smiles with a warmth like the sun,

Her voice is like the rushing wind,

Her spirit can be felt across many miles,

She is a mix of such simple yet splendid complexities,

To know her, even across the vast expanse of so many miles, is to feel her touch your soul,

She is love, life, and music,

She is a rare flower in a desert of mediocrity,

An amazing soul who can captivate me with a single word,

You are the most beautiful mystery i have ever experienced... ❤️

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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 25, 2023 at 05:11 PM #542 If you focus too much on loss you may miss some important freedoms you now have.
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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 25, 2023 at 08:26 PM #544 I'm getting better, one day at a time
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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 26, 2023 at 01:21 PM #545 Good Morning Empathic Friends....God bless you
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 26, 2023 at 05:13 PM #546 You playing tonite?
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 26, 2023 at 05:46 PM #548 Have a nice dinner 😊
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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 27, 2023 at 12:21 AM #550 Great breakfast, great rehearsal, great dinner too!@@!
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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 27, 2023 at 05:27 AM #551 Wow, what a long day. I woke up at 3am and decided to go back to sleep.
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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 27, 2023 at 09:14 AM #552 Lessons learned. I'm more than one person's opinion of me I have more potential than i ever imagined I am blessed far more than i originally thought
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 27, 2023 at 10:56 AM #553 Determining your value by asking others if you are good enough is not going to give you your true worth. Instead it gives others way too much power and is actually what attracts narcissistic people to you to suck you into servicing their needs and becoming their enabler and codependent.
	Reply With Quote

JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 27, 2023 at 11:36 AM #554 @Open Eyes: Did i tell you about the girl i met at Taco Bell 33 years ago??? Well, i found her living here in SoCal. Last edited by JustTotallyLost; Aug 27, 2023 at 12:21 PM..
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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 27, 2023 at 05:24 PM #557 I can't explain any of this.
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 27, 2023 at 06:01 PM #558 What are you trying to explain?
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