How do I get my confidence back?

I use to be the strong one in our marriage. Now my wife wants a divorce and dosent love me anymore. I supported her through school and 2 mental breakdowns.(Shes bipolar). I worked part time and stayed home with our 2 girls for the past 10 years. (Our girls are 10 & 8). My wife is the bread winner and makes so much more than me.

Now she is the strong one and I feel so much weaker than her in this divorce. Any advice?

Maybe as well as getting legal advice about the divorce, also if possible (for confidence building) start doing things you enjoy?

Thank you for the reply. I am getting a lawyer. I have to force myself to do the things I enjoy right now, though. I can't focus, my mind is all over the place. But, I will continue to try.

Doing what you can every day is the right direction

May I ask what brought you to this forum and how you are coping with things?

emotional unstable personality disorder and learning disabilities, I do what I can, I know I'll never be more than this

I am going through similar. I quit my teaching career to raise our two kids solo in an effort to keep them far away from my husband's bipolar antics. I took care of him through 3 back surgeries, short term memory loss, RX substance abuse, suicide attempts, and manic episodes - our family secrets. It took a toll on me and over decades of marriage, the relationship got more and more dysfunctional. I got sick with thyroid disease, he responded by spending years isolating and stonewalling, consentially I couldn't work out relationship issues with him, I found myself mentioning the D(ivorce) word just to get him to know I meant business, he just remained cold, distant and uncaring, wouldn't work anything out, didnt want couseling, he really just waited until the time was right. kids leaving for college and my my mom needing elder care from me, then repeatedly asserted and showed he no longer loved me and wants a divorce. How does someone just stop loving? I was/am still cruhed! He actully did it in a very heartless way but I'll spare you the details. He is unwilling to work things out and has told everyone Its my fault (I have to admit I was losing patience and becoming reactive as you do when your dealing with your partners crazy bipolar mood swings) but quite honestly it is sooooo difficult being in a relationship with someone who is mentally unstable and self centered - I kinda think it might be a good thing. I gave up my career so I am worried about money, I am older, I don't have a strong support system but I'll be damned if I let him be my downfall. We can only do what we can do and try to remember that when one door closes a window is wide open. Please look up things on grief and don't feel alone my friend we are going through it together. (ps: It's essential to focus on the health and well being of your kids through these difficult times)

Wow, thank you for your reply! You are right. Living with someone who is unstable and self centered is not ideal. When we first met, she warned me. But, having no experience with it I figured if she took her meds I could handle it. Then she got pregnant and we got married. Anyway, Im glad for the advice! I will use this advice and try to move on. I too am helping to take care of my elderly father, its just so much at one time!