[tifferific]

So I'm down this positive path kinda. And I've been slipping into my fears, tommorow I have an appt with my therapist and I already know that its going to be a crock of crap. Because there is no way I'm going to tell anyone what I'm really thinking feeling and doing. So I get this letter. Make my appts or get dumped why go if I am such a closed up shell? Or is it still worth while? And what the hell is wrong with me I know what happens when I fall well below my bmi. And I don't want that. But can't stay here either. So I embrace anorexia. I'm trying to fill it with something else. I'm the busiest person around. Just can't be fat.

[addict390]

I almost wish I could have your mind set.....almost. Everyone has a problem, and I understand where you're coming from saying that you cant let anyone know what you're really thinking or doing. I feel that way. I hope that the business you fill your life with will ease your pain. I wish you the best.

[Lisa Michelle]

tifferific I hope you manage to go to your appointment. Recovery takes a long time, just because you're not seeing results now doesn't mean it's not going to help in the long term, I think it's worth sticking at it, you've got nothing to lose, have you.
I understand that if you don't attend your appointments they'll have to stop seeing you, because obviously that 1 hour slot could be given to someone else if you don't want it. But you do need it, I think.
I don't like my therapy either, it's not helped me, but I'm now on a waiting list for a proper psychiatrist (I was seeing a mental health nurse... there are no Ed psychs in my town so I will have to travel) and also for cbt. Maybe you haven't connected with your therapist, could you see a different one?
I know you say there is "no way you're going to tell anyone what you're thinking and doing" -- but why not? You're in therapy to help YOU, opening up could do that.
I wish you luck, I hope you start getting something out of your therapy and it begins to help you. x

[tifferific]

Originally Posted by Lisa Michelle

tifferific I hope you manage to go to your appointment. Recovery takes a long time, just because you're not seeing results now doesn't mean it's not going to help in the long term, I think it's worth sticking at it, you've got nothing to lose, have you.
I understand that if you don't attend your appointments they'll have to stop seeing you, because obviously that 1 hour slot could be given to someone else if you don't want it. But you do need it, I think.
I don't like my therapy either, it's not helped me, but I'm now on a waiting list for a proper psychiatrist (I was seeing a mental health nurse... there are no Ed psychs in my town so I will have to travel) and also for cbt. Maybe you haven't connected with your therapist, could you see a different one?
I know you say there is "no way you're going to tell anyone what you're thinking and doing" -- but why not? You're in therapy to help YOU, opening up could do that.
I wish you luck, I hope you start getting something out of your therapy and it begins to help you. x

Wish I could stop with the games I thought that I was some much farther than that. Then reality!!!!

[tifferific]

Originally Posted by tifferific

Wish I could stop with the games I thought that I was some much farther than that. Then reality!!!!

Does anyone ever just think that this is justbtheir destiny? That maybe their life lesson is to end this way? I'm so confused!?!?b

[Lisa Michelle]

I think this can be a life lesson... but the lesson is only fully learnt when we're recovered. This isn't your destiny. Maybe to recover from an eating disorder is?

[eskielover]

The problem is that to recover from your ED, you need to deal with other issues that you don't seem to want to deal with from what I have read in past posts.....pain & hurt from your past......those things are definitely issues that eat at us & cause the ED in more ways that just body image. I think that even though you are not ready yet to deal with your issues, that it's not a good idea to give up on therapy so that when you are ready, it's there to help you whenever that may be. We never can be forced into dealing with things that we don't want to deal with until we absolutely feel the need & realize that there is no other way of getting better & really wanting to get better.......all are a place we have to come to in our own minds & noting we can be forced into.

Hope that some day that choice will be yours so you can start recovery

eskielover