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Magnate
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: Independence, MO
Posts: 2,609
14 1,592 hugs
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#1
I went to my gp's office and they told me how much I weigh! I am so not ok with it. I mean there was part of me that wanted to know and then part of me that knew better. I am so freaked out by this! All I want to do is restrict. I feel so freakin fat right now. Why do they have to weigh me? I get weighed every two weeks by my dietician who does not tell me what it is. If they want to know so bad, they can call her. I skipped breakfast and morning snack today, ate a very small dinner, and had a very small snack for this evening. I don't want to eat tomorrow either. All I want to do is get under that scary number and stay under it. Why have I been dealt this? Why?
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insideout, notablackbarbie
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,814
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#2
Have you been feeling healthier & more functional lately (I mean before you learned what your actual weight is)?
I have honestly felt that I have a weight range that I am willing to stay between that is in the healthy range for my height......when I get over that top.....I will tend to restrict....more by making sure I don't eat any junk food.....interesting, I can cut out all the snacks & loose several pounds in a day or 2 & by just keeping away from those foods I can eat a bit more of when my weight is low, it get's my weight right back to where I want it just by eating good healthy food & keeping away from any of the fatening junk foods......It's a bit of the yo-yo thing, but at least I can eat things I like after rewarding myself by getting my weight back down to where I feel good about myself. Only problem is that if I get my weight low & then I get sick or some stressful thing hits me.....then my weight ends up going way too low & I end up having serious problems again. Know it's hard to stay at a weight that is healthy & still acceptable....but when you can find that balance, it's so much easier to be happier with life & not struggle so much of the time. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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buttrfli42481
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Member
Member Since Mar 2012
Posts: 32
12 37 hugs
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#3
Hi: You're not alone!!! I can't give you an advice because I don't even started a treatment yet. So I don't think I can be a support right now all I can tell you if do your best to fight with this.
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buttrfli42481
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Magnate
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: Independence, MO
Posts: 2,609
14 1,592 hugs
given |
#4
I was feeling good until I saw those numbers. I am still fighting with it. I am trying to change my number so that I can be healthy and my dietician told me that she won't let me keep gaining weight. I think that if I knew what the goal weight for me to get at would help. ED keeps telling me that this certain number is the max and if I go over it, then I am fat. It is a daily struggle for me to follow my meal plan. I have not been truthful with my family, my T, or my dietician with eating. I have skipped meals and snacks more than what I have admitted to. I wish that I could go to a time where ED no longer controls my life.
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Junior Member
Member Since Apr 2012
Posts: 6
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#5
Hi
To be healthy without being fat you are dieting but along with follow some exercises and physical activities which will help you a lot. Quote:
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Magnate
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: Independence, MO
Posts: 2,609
14 1,592 hugs
given |
#6
Been restricting really bad lately. Not wanting to eat and not having the support at home doesn't help. I am past my safe weight and it scares me. I go to the dietician this friday and am afraid that I have lost more weight. I don't like not knowing what will happen if I lose more weight. To me I am still at a healthy weight, I guess I don't see it as a problem. I mean, my daughter is the same heighth as me and weighs less and they say that is fine. What is the difference? I don't get it.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,814
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19 14.7k hugs
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#7
Quote:
Those things need to be resolved so that you will be able to get back on track of the healing you know you need for yourself. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Suki22
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#8
Please try to be healthy for your sake and especially for your daughter's sake. Eating disorders can be passed down and you don't want your daughter to suffer like you do.
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Suki22
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Magnate
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: Independence, MO
Posts: 2,609
14 1,592 hugs
given |
#9
The only thing that has changed is knowing that I am over my "safe" weight. I have a number that ED keeps telling me to stay under and I listen to him. I have listened to him for so many years that it is hard to stop.
I have never had the support of my family. The day I got home from the hospital, my mom and step-dad both said that there was nothing wrong with me and that I just forgot how to eat. They don't make sure I am on my meal plan or that I supplement if I need to. They don't think I need to see a dietician and want me to stop going. They just don't get any part of this. My daughter at least tells me that I need to eat my snack when my alarm goes off, but she is getting lax on that. And it isn't her responsibility to be a support like that. You are right, I don't want my daughter to suffer like I am. She doesn't know that I have slipped back into my old habits, at least not that I know of. __________________ C'est la vie |
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