[darkmusicfaiy]

anyone else know what its like to be sitting at the dinner table surrounded by family with that tension running through the air as your nabors pile more and more onto your plate? everyone atching out of the cornor of their eyes as you take a bite, hopping just hoping that this one bite is filled with magical delicius food that will cure you and make everything go back to normal.
dissapointment flourishes as you continue to mix the discusting greasy food around the plate, how everyone grows stiffer and quieter. untill that oh so helpful parental figure asks very gently, as if talking to a wild out of control child, "are you sure your done? cant you eat just one more bite?"
random family member always piping in "ya put some meat on thoes bones." mean while all you can think about is the sickly sweet fealing all around you, the repulsive food crawling down into your stomach. more laps tomarrow.
"there are childreen starving in Africa." i would gladly give them my food, "why dont you just try one more bite?" because i dont want to, "you have always loved apple pie, you cant resist that."
watch me.

[(JD)]

When I was growing up it was the children in India that were starving.

Realize that at least some of your rebellion to eating is based upon control over those who "made" you eat. You might still be holding onto that defiance, regardless of other reasons you have. Give yourself permission to decide what you will eat...what foods you will enjoy without their guilty harassment in your mind.

[Broken Wings]

I remember when I was at Olive Garden one time. I was with my three of my closest friends and one of my friend's parents. I didn't want to eat. But they literally made me. I started crying because I was so terrified of eating. I mean, I already ate like a ton. It was really the most horrifying moment of my life.

Thought I'd share just to let you know that you are not alone.