[Sunna]

Lately, I have been working a lot on my mind and spiritual growth with lectures and exercises from Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle.

And somewhere between the two a miracle occured.

Byron Katie's simple question to a large woman was: "How does it make you feel when you think this thought "I need to lose weight" ?" The woman's answer was horrible. And I heard myself in it. That's how I have been "motivating" myself to take control, with that kind of hateful, horrible thinking? Yes, it was. Even worse.

I realized that it would be far, far better for me to just stay the weight I am, or even get heavier just so I would never ever think that kind of horrid stuff at myself.

I always knew that overeating is related to mind. Read numerous times that we eat because we are trying to satisfy mind's hunger not the body's and since filling the stomach with food can never satisfy the mind, the cravings are endless.

Fine! So what? That didn't help me feel less ravenous.

But Eckhart Tolle did. He teaches people inner stillness. I was never good at meditation. Sit five minutes on a pillow, breathe, try not to think of anything, and my tailbone starts hurting, my hip gets achy, my lower back cramps up, my foot goes to sleep. Heck with it!

Eckhart Tolle teaches stillness in just how he talks. His lectures are disguised training sessions. At first he was just putting me to sleep (Great! I found a sleeping aid), but then I started getting into it. I listened and practiced the stillness. I hold it a second at best. Between Tolle's words is a good space for it, driving the car, and stopping at a traffic light, any sort of a place one has to wait, or even finding self in a middle of a supermarket, not sure what am there to buy, just stop and be still - and instead of frantic thinking, I just smile.

He recommends connecting to the body, going within, feeling aliveness of it. And I have been doing that. The mind chatter subsides for a moment, but I am not really sure if I really do it, because the moment I want to check if I am doing it, the mind breaks in and then of course, it's mind's show again.

But I've been at it for a week plus. And I noticed I am not so hungry anymore. I would stick something in my mouth and it wouldn't be good, even my thoughts were whispering this is what I like to eat. When I eat, I feel something like a subtle response from my body. I love fruit, and I have plums, pears and grapes in great abundance in my yard, but I cannot overeat on fruit anymore. I know when I need to eat something more substantial, and I don't seem to need a whole lot of it. Food tastes great, but I don't need to keep on eating even though it still does. For the first time in my life, thanks to practicing just this simple Tolle's "trick" I hear my body telling me: "enough", and I have no problem stopping.

I also am exercising more, and not because I have to. I am not whipping myself to do it. It just feels good to move, I feel more alive, have more energy. And after long exercise, I may take a nap, and love it too. I never napped before!

Today I was dressing up to go to a store, and I feel so light and lively I grabbed a size 14 pair of pants, sure they would fit, expecting them to hang loosely even. They did not; barely could button them. It was a surprise, but did trigger the usual negative put-down. I almost chuckled. It's only been a week! I also realized that although I know I will now lose weight, I don't care by when and how much. I feel I have already achieved my goal, I feel good in my body, and my body seems to love me back.

This is not weight control anymore. I don't strive to control it in the least. I guess this indeed is a "power of now" in action.

Hello, Sunna. I wish you well.

[Sabrina]

Sunna, I enjoyed your post and am happy for you. I also can't help but envy you!