[firefighter369]

whenever im angry or upset with someone I don't eat. like I fought with my mom this morning and today I havnt eatin. my mom and dad came in my room into my room and asked me if I wanted dinner. I told them "no I ate a lot today im not hungry" but in reality I want to punish my mom by starving myself. ive always done this. I don't eat until they say sorry.

I have a very hard time eating when I am angry and/or anxious, too. For me it is about maintaining control and keeping things in. Also, it can be a form of manipulative punishment to both ourselves, as well as those we are upset with. Also, it can be an attention seeking tactic.

In reality, though, we are only hurting ourselves. It is really important to speak with your T about this in order to learn how to be kinder to yourself. You deserve it

[firefighter369]

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

I have a very hard time eating when I am angry and/or anxious, too. For me it is about maintaining control and keeping things in. Also, it can be a form of manipulative punishment to both ourselves, as well as those we are upset with. Also, it can be an attention seeking tactic.

In reality, though, we are only hurting ourselves. It is really important to speak with your T about this in order to learn how to be kinder to yourself. You deserve it

I nervous about telling people about this and my other feelings do to the fact I don't want them to send me to the hospital again. it freaks me out

[buttrfli42481]

Are you afraid that you should be in the hospital and that is why you don't talk to someone about it? For me, I have been hospitalized 5 times in the psych ward and twice for ED. Did you give someone a reason that you needed to be hospitalized? I know here you have to be a danger to yourself or someone else to meet requirements for psych hospital. It doesn't sound like you need to be hospitalized for your disordered eating habits at this point. If you lost a significant amount of weight because of your lack of not eating, then you could need to be hospitalized. But that would mean you are less than 80% of your ideal body weight. Any questions feel free to ask me, I have a bit of experience in hospitalizations.

I hope you will take a chance and speak with your T about how you are feeling. It's important to talk about things so you can start feeling better (and not punish yourself by not nourishing your body).

[firefighter369]

Originally Posted by buttrfli42481

Are you afraid that you should be in the hospital and that is why you don't talk to someone about it? For me, I have been hospitalized 5 times in the psych ward and twice for ED. Did you give someone a reason that you needed to be hospitalized? I know here you have to be a danger to yourself or someone else to meet requirements for psych hospital. It doesn't sound like you need to be hospitalized for your disordered eating habits at this point. If you lost a significant amount of weight because of your lack of not eating, then you could need to be hospitalized. But that would mean you are less than 80% of your ideal body weight. Any questions feel free to ask me, I have a bit of experience in hospitalizations.

I put a loaded gun to my head one night. that's how I ended up in the hospital. and again me and my parents got into a fight but I forced myself to eat

If you need to, drink Ensure. They are not the most delish drinks on the planet , but it's something to keep yourself somewhat fed and hydrated until your appetite returns.

((((FF)))) Keep nourishing yourself until you are able to communicate, find the words, speak out, and to express your feelings

(you are doing well here! practice with us )

[vanessa22]

Omg, i am going through the exact same thing right now. I I just posted a qqustion about this.. My mom just recently made me really upset right before i was going to eat.. i know i need to eat but now i dont want to, mainly because ..i want her to learn a lesson. Sounds immature, but now i feel guilty, she made me feel guilty and i know if i eat ed will make me feel more guilty.. i wanna show my mom "look what youve done. If you really cared about me, you wouldnt have said that. now you have to watch your daughter starve once again when you know she is suppose to eat!"