[MissyLeigh07]

I have now gone from Anorexia to NOS. Im not sure what this means besides im "healthier". I am stuggling really bad to drop a few pounds since having my girls. This used to be so easy for me. I really want to do it the healthy way but i cant stay away from the diet pills and i have been drinking/cutting to cope which is making it all worse. My thoughts are comsumed with my body image. Any advice??

[spondiferous]

When you say that you are struggling to drop a few pounds...something to think about: maybe that's just where your body is meant to be? Pregnancy changes our bodies. Some people go back to whatever they were before the pregnancy. In truth, most don't and never will, and torture themselves over it endlessly, sometimes for decades after the children are born.
I am really sorry to hear this is such a struggle for you, and I can totally relate. I had the same issues after I had my baby. I hope you are able to find some peace around this.

[pinkbutterfly]

Just because you went from Anorexia to NOS, doesn't mean you're "healthier" - it means you no longer fit the diagnostic criteria for Anorexia. That probably in your case means weight. But it doesn't mean you're healthier. If your behaviors, thoughts, etc are still intense (as it sounds they are) - you are still in a dangerous place. EDNOS can be just as dangerous as Anorexia.

Are you seeing a therapist?

[eskielover]

How old are your girls? You do know that our children are observant regarding our actions as parents & learn from them....so basically everything you are doing is teaching your girls how to act also.

Drinking is a serious problem around your girls...first off, drinking impares our judgment & make us unsafe parents to care for our children. Don't know if you are a child of a parent who drank....but our children are left with horrible memories of parents who drink to cope with their lives......it only hurts them & I'm sure that's not what you really want for your girls.

We always have to be mindful of our actions & how they effect our children when we make our choices......

I really hope that you can come to a better mindful way of dealing with your issues......they seem to be much deeper than just weight issues for the actions you are taking to escape from your emotions/feelings.

[Neptune83]

I know how you feel.
With my first I gained a load of weight, once he was born I went on this faddy diet and took diet pills. They worked wonders initially, but once I stopped using them (because they're not supposed to be used long term) I put on all the weight I lost plus some. They don't work. And yes of course not eating works, but how long for? Having been anorexic, you know how dangerous that is. It's very hard to keep up forever, you'll either end up rebelling against your own rules or your body will eventually give up.
You need to stop punishing yourself. So you gained some weight during pregnancies, who doesn't?! That's normal! And it's ok. You can lose it, but sensibly. If not for your sake, for your girls. They don't want to see mum becoming ill and they need you far more than you ever imagined. It's simple adopting a healthy lifestyle, the hard part is defeating those old habits. Perhaps you could benefit from some therapy around this? Drinking and cutting will not find you the answer. It's a temporary release from your frustrations, but again you must think of your girls first. They are your world just like you are theirs. How do you think they'd feel if you drank to the extent the damage done could not be undone? Believe me, it's the most horrible thing in the world watching your child go through the grief of losing a parent. They never get over something like that. And if you've done it to yourself, it's even harder for them to come to terms with. I speak from experience, having to tell my then eight year old son his dad took his own life. It destroyed him. He's now 11 and is incredibly depressed. No child should go through this. And you don't deserve to put yourself through this either, you're better than that. You need to get help.
I am happy to talk you through what worked for myself, no diet pills or strange diets involved at all, just healthy eating. Isn't it better to get where you want to be never feeling deprived or guilty?

[Laina M.]

EDNOS doesn't mean you're healthier, it means you no longer meet the BMI or menstruation requirements of anorexia.

I agree with some of the other posters. Maybe see if you can work out a reasonable, healthy, exercise plan with your gp to help make you feel a bit better about your body, but the longterm work is going to be in accepting your body.

I know I'm calling the kettle black here because I'm certainly not there myself, but I know that to have long-term recovery, I can't just rely on finding healthy methods to be the weight that i want to be because that weight is unobtainable. The more I tell myself I need to be a certain weight, the more I get caught up in the ED spiral and in the ED spiral no weight is ever low enough. All you're doing is admitting you aren't good enough, and unless you start to look at your body as something beautiful and natural (that, as other posters said, is naturally changed by childbirth!) these issues are going to keep coming back.

This isn't supposed to be a lecture, by the way, because I so know how hard this is! I'm struggling with it every day. But I think while healthy weight-loss/control plans can be part of staving off relapses, you need to try and fundamentally change the way you think to really get out of the ED mindset.