[SingDanceRunLife]

Alright, second visit with the N was today. Not as bad as the first one which just felt awkward since it's talking about all your bad habits and choices with someone you don't know. I can tell that I'm going to end up liking her a lot. She seems to have a similar approach as my T which makes sense since they work hand in hand as a team all the time -- pushing, but not too pushy.

She was actually really impressed with my food journal for the past week, and this week she assigned me goals for breakfast and lunch, we have specific things planned, although what my family had for dinner tonight will be a challenge for me, but will incorporate what the N wants which is more complex carbs and starches. She said I'm doing great with fruits and vegetables (not a surprise there since they make my "good/safe" list and many other foods don't. Also not a surprise, I need more protein. Over the years she's made up this list of everything that lists it in units rather than servings, and there's a range for each section like fruits and protein etc. and at the bottom it says "If you are eating less than x units you are still restricting." which may seem kind of harsh, but it's actually really helpful to see what "normal" is.

I still hate eating, but I can get through it. So I'm taking steps in the right direction.

T was also super impressed with my journal (I made a copy for her). I think she was probably more impressed because she already really knew how much I was restricting and for how long, and where I'm at now is like a huge leap forward from even 2 months ago.