[monkeybruv]

Every time I try and eat I feel like I'm going to throw up. I feel ravenously hungry all day but can barely stomach food. Sometimes I throw up but usually I just get waves of nausea, my heart beats really fast, I can't breathe and I have to close my eyes and 'shut down' until it goes away. Then I give up eating before I throw it all back up. I feel really ugly and skinny and losing weight upsets me, I'm not sure whether the pressure I feel to put on weight has something to do with this as it's making me anxious or something. Or if I have a medical problem of some sort. Has anyone else had this experience? I understand it's very different from anorexia etc - in fact, it's the opposite. I struggle with compulsively checking myself in the mirror, weighing and measuring myself because I so badly want to be healthy and curvy and not thin.

[Karrebear]

sounds more anxiety

[Miswimmy1]

I don't know much about eating disorders, but I think the two are commonly comorbid. Binging/purging, not eating, etc., are ways of feeling in control. The loss of control is anxiety provoking. So they are related. What you describe here sounds like anxiety. You mention that the pressure to put on weight might be the cause. Who is pressuring you to put on weight?

[gnat]

I had a similar problem when suffering from severe anxiety and depression last summer. I didn't get skinny to the point it was concerning, but would have if things hand't changed.

What changed? I started dealing a little better with my anxiety, mostly due to confronting the person whose behaviors caused my issues to begin with. I've also started meditating and started talking it out (in PMs) with a couple of people from this site who understood my pain.

For me it also helps to take Rantidine twice a day. It helps with the stomach acid which helps some with the vomiting. I take it in times of stress and have been dependent on it to keep my food down for the past 9 months or so. I still have pukisodes even on it from time to time, but much less. I also started drinking instant breakfast drinks to keep me going, just a couple sips at a time and a couple of drinks a day until things improved and I was able to keep that down until things got better and now i can usually keep small meals down.

I want to advise you to see a doctor, but I'd be a total hypocrite as the first time I had issues with the vomiting it took me 3 years to talk to a doc about it. There may be a medical cause that can be treated. Mine was acid reflux triggered by stress.

[monkeybruv]

Thanks for the replies guys. I've had bouts of this since I was about 13 and I'm now nearly 20. My doctor told me to try something to regulate stomach/oesophagus contractions but i can't remember what it was called now! I'll find out when i see her in a week but if anyone knows what I'm on about it would be good...

@Miswimmy - nobody is pressuring me apart from myself. I used to get teased for being skinny as a kid and now I feel unattractive when I'm skinnier.Also, my boyfriend was concerned I'd lose weight and i don't want him to stop finding me attractive because my boobs and bum are disappearing :/

[yuki-onna]

I go through this every time I'm in a more stressful period - my stomach thinks I don't need food even though I'm hungry, or I lose my appetite and feel awful because I lose weight rapidly and I feel "ugly skinny" (I was also teased for being too skinny growing up - people scoff at me if I ever worry about my "underweightness" but for me it's a real concern!).

Nastily enough, I can't stomach any medication meant for nausea and such - they make me throw up! In these periods I meditate more, eat light and nutritious foods such as brown rice, nutritious soups, and fruits, gluten free crackers (I stay away from gluten period) and avoid dairy products (hard to digest and they set me off).

Just my two cents, in case meds don't work.

[monkeybruv]

argh, i know i should try and eliminate food intolerances as a cause but I'd consume nothing if it wasn't for bread and milk! maybe i'll try cutting one or both out next time i shop. here's another question for anyone who deals with this: meal replacement drinks, good or bad? I only have them after i've been sick if it's too late to cook another meal (as i don't want to get out of the habit of eating solid food). I usually have warm milk with whey protein and coconut oil.

[monkeybruv]

it was 'domperinone'. I've taken it before meals a couple of times and haven't thrown up but have still been too afraid to eat much just in case. We'll see if I can start eating more with its help...

[monkeybruv]

Ok I just ate a whole sandwich without throwing up, but i noticed something interesting. I was feeling pretty sick and not enjoying the food, and yet I didn't feel the urge to vomit. At a certain point, I noticed I started having panic symptoms (heart beating fast, cold dread feeling etc...) which I thought would happen just because i was scared of throwing up, but this time the happened but i didn't start heaving. So I think maybe anxiety does have a lot to do with it. It's self-perpetuating - I throw up when anxious, and because I've associated eating with throwing up, I'm more likely to get anxious when eating. and throw up. Hopefully this medication will help me break the association and eat normally again. I'll keep you guys posted. as it may help a lot of people with the same problem.

What I'm taking is called 'motilium'. Have only been taking it 1 hour before food for 3 days, so I can't talk about its long-term efficacy yet but so far I am hopeful I may have found a temporary solution