[NakamuraRie]

I'm sorry for bringing it up and if it bothers or hurts some people in this thread.. But please.. How did you're disorder start? Because I think I'm starting to develop a disorder.. The other day I decided to throw up because I hate how I look and I've started thinking I must do it again.. I want to get out before it gets too much >.< What must I do.. I feel so lost and hopeless

[kaliope]

throwing up could definitely put you on the road to an eating disorder. if you do not have a therapist to talk to, now would be a good time to get one. maybe even talking to a nutritionist would be helpful for healthy ideas on how to lose weight. please talk to someone. take care.

[NakamuraRie]

Thank you, I'm trying to get to a therapist >.< Its going to take work to get to that though

[bronzeowl]

It's hard to say. I don't remember how the binge eating started, but the restricting/purging came last year and is fresh on my mind. One day... I just... didn't want to eat. Because I felt guilty when I did. I, too, felt lost and hopeless. Those feelings are far too familiar for many with an eating disorder. In the beginning, I had convinced myself that I was hopeless. That, too, is fairly common. I would later learn that the guilt I was feeling was my earliest warning sign of what was to come, and the need to keep up the behaviors was, too.

Get to a therapist as soon as you can. Eating disorders... are like tornadoes. There is very little warning, but when they come, they definitely come. But with a warning, you can prevent it or treat it. Nip it in the bud, so to speak.

All the best.

[NakamuraRie]

Thank you for the help, and I am truly sorry that you've had to go through such hard times.. Goodluck xx

[bronzeowl]

No problem. I'm sorry that you're struggling, too, and wish you all the best as well.

[NakamuraRie]

Thank you

[eskielover]

Stress caused the start of my restricting.....because the stress made me feel sick & have have the other problem that I hate throwing up because it breaks blood vessels in the whites of my eyes & face....so any time when I feel a sick feeling, I immediately quit eating.

I want to get out before it gets too much

Some truths about thinking that you are getting rid of calories when you throw up....you are fooling yourself if you think this is what is happening:
Bulimia weight gain and weight loss - the truth | Bulimia Help
Does throwing up make you lose weight? The Truth! | Bulimia Help
Does bulimia help you lose weight? | Bulimia Help

[ComicBookMommy]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I am a former bulimic, and it started much the same as you described. I hated how I looked, and hated the feeling of food in my stomach, so I threw it up.

I hope you are able to stop this now, before you go down this road too far. I feel like I got lucky and escaped (though I battle the self-loathing still) but my sister was not so lucky. She's been mired in bulimia for 15 years and it has destroyed her health and her life. She spends every day obsessing over her looks and how much she eats and exercises. So much so, that she cannot enjoy life at all, and her little daughter is suffering from her mother's mentality as well. It is no way to live. You may be thin, but you will not be truly happy.

As others suggested, I hope you find someone to talk to. It is a long, difficult road to loving yourself and your body. For me, I had to think about my children, and realize that I could not be a good role model for them being the way I was. Even with that, it was hell quitting bulimia.

I know you may not feel it right now, but you ARE worthy, beautiful, and perfect just the way you are. And the right people will care about YOU, not how thin you are. I hope you can love yourself enough to save your happiness.

[NakamuraRie]

Thank you all so much for the support, I have been fighting the urge and all the negative thoughts about my body, I admire all of you who have gotten through eating disorders, its a tough journey. I really hope I won't give in to the negative thoughts again.. Thank you all <3