I'm afraid I'm on my way to develop an eating disorder.
It started easy: when my thoughts were racing, eating cold stuff (usually ice cream) would calm them down. At first, it started with just one bowl of ice cream. But it became more and now, six months later, I usually eat the equivalent of four/five bowls. At first, I ate when my thoughts were racing and/or I was feeling particularly low. Now, I sometimes also eat when I'm bored. And it isn't just ice cream either. I notice myself often eating stuff when I don't even feel like eating, but just for the sake of it, or because I don't know what else to do. This includes eating stuff I'm intolerant to (gluten and casein/milk).

Last autumn I'd quit eating because I was refusing to sustain my body as I didn't want to live; also, as I'm immortal, I don't really NEED food. Since my lowest point I've gained a substantial amount of weight; going (in BMI) from somewhat underweight to almost overweight. I know some of that is because of the meds I'm on, but I think it's also because I'm eating too much.

For the last week or so, I've quit eating ice cream when I'm feeling bad as I don't think it's healthy. But I just don't know what to do anymore.

Does anyone know what this sounds like, what to do, how to help?

Basically you lost a coping mechanism, and thats not a bad thing as you were coping in an unhealthy way. You need to find positive things to do when you are feeing bad to replace your previous method. Go for walks, read, listen to music, hang out with a friend…

[pinkflower17]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

I'm afraid I'm on my way to develop an eating disorder.
It started easy: when my thoughts were racing, eating cold stuff (usually ice cream) would calm them down. At first, it started with just one bowl of ice cream. But it became more and now, six months later, I usually eat the equivalent of four/five bowls. At first, I ate when my thoughts were racing and/or I was feeling particularly low. Now, I sometimes also eat when I'm bored. And it isn't just ice cream either. I notice myself often eating stuff when I don't even feel like eating, but just for the sake of it, or because I don't know what else to do. This includes eating stuff I'm intolerant to (gluten and casein/milk).

Last autumn I'd quit eating because I was refusing to sustain my body as I didn't want to live; also, as I'm immortal, I don't really NEED food. Since my lowest point I've gained a substantial amount of weight; going (in BMI) from somewhat underweight to almost overweight. I know some of that is because of the meds I'm on, but I think it's also because I'm eating too much.

For the last week or so, I've quit eating ice cream when I'm feeling bad as I don't think it's healthy. But I just don't know what to do anymore.

Does anyone know what this sounds like, what to do, how to help?

I agree with the above, it sounds like you're using food as a coping mechanism, using is to not have to deal with unpleasant situations, feelings etc. IMO, yeah, that's kind of the definition of an ED. Could you start by getting some additional support - talking to someone in your family about it, attending a support group, seeing a therapist etc? Some way to get some accountability? When I was having a lot of issues with binging and purging, what helped for me with the binging was keeping track of everything I ate so I didn't eat mindlessly, and also coming up with a list of alternative coping mechanisms (going for a walk, journaling, calling a friend, reading, cleaning, going to starbucks etc) and posting it up everywhere in my house so I'd see it all the time and I made an agreement with my therapist that I'd do at least 3 of the alternative coping techniques for 15 minutes each before B/P and if I still wanted to B/P after that, I had the green light, but I usually didn't want to. Most studies show the urge to binge and/or purge only lasts 20 minutes, so if you can ride out 20 minutes, usually the urge has passed. I don't know if this helps any, just some ideas...