[tayannrox]

For the past 7 or 8 months my life has changed an incredible amount. I have always been on the bigger side and after meeting a boy something sparked, I felt this urge to drop a ton on weight as quickly as I could. I am now I have lost and am down a lot in about 6 months, but i am still trying to drop more. I am at a normal and healthy weight for my height. A good day for me is not very many calories a day. I feel so uncomfortable and guilty if I eat anymore. On top of this I feel the need to burn off every single calorie. I go to the gym about 6 times a week where I will burn many calories. I've begun to obsess, I track all my calories, total fat intake, total carb, protien ,etc. My thoughts are consumed about what I ate, what i'll eat tomorrow, and so on. I constantly check myself to see improvements. Despite dropping a ton of weight, i still look the same, i still feel chubby. A few times this month I have restricted myself so much that I would end up binge eating, feeling like i could eat everything in sight. However, I have never purged, though i have had strong desires to do so. Is this possibly an eating disorder forming? Do I need help?

[CANDC]

Welcome to Psych Central (PC) tayannrox. Glad you are taking care of your body, but you may be reaching the limits of healthy weight loss. I find high protein low carb diets keep the weight off and keep my body from self metabolizing (starvation). Some people are healthy looking. Native people honor women with strength as worthy of being a suitable partner. If the man only loves you for the appearance of your body, it is not a very deep basis for a relationship. You have much more than that. Don't sell yourself short. Do you work out together? If he does not work out, maybe you will meet someone that does. Find someone with common ground.

I see people skinny minny and I want to take them out for a good meal. They just look too thin. I am glad you are not like that and glad you are not purging.

Some people choose talk therapy with a therapist specializing in eating disorders before they get locked into a pattern.

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable. There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[kaliope]

hi tayannrox
it does sound to me that you may have issues that need to be address with therapy. when it begins interferring with your life and becomes all consuming like this counseling becomes necessary. please do before it becomes worse. my sister died due to her eating disorder. i would hate to see this happen to you. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[LotsOfUs]

Hi tayannrox, welcome! I congrats your courage in reaching out, that's really great. Reading your post, if you were my sister/friend/mom/etc I would be worried for you. Heck, I'm a stranger and reading your post I'm worried for you. <3 Those who have struggled with eating disorders for the horrible monsters they are know how soft, comforting and inviting they feel... at first. But it is SO EASY to get sucked in, tayannrox. That rabbit hole is deep and dark; you don't want down there. If there is ANY doubt in your mind, go to a therapist, a physician, some trusted medical professional and ask for help. This is one of those "better safe than sorry" moments in your life. Avoid the rabbit hole at all costs my dear... but know there *is* support if you do happen to slip in, even a pinky toe. :-) We are here.

[Crazy Hitch]

Yeah I think your self esteem issues correlated when you met that new guy to start dropping - I second what others have mentioned here ..... counseling or some sort of therapy will help you begin to address some of these issues