[ComfortablyNumb5]

I was doing so good. About 2 weeks of no binging or purging and my cravings even went away. Sadly, that was probably my longest stretch. Yesterday I brought junk food in the house but thought I could handle it. I figured if I stretch my eating out throughout the day then I won't have a problem with feeling too full. Well I was wrong. I ate some candy and couldn't just sit afterwards. My mind was racing and next thing I know, I'm shoving food in my face like I havNt eaten in days. No way am I going to absorb that crap so I threw up. I figured it's no big deal, just a little slip up. Well today my cravings are back and I feel like I'm back to square one. I hope I can jump back quick from this. Tomorrow is a huge rival football game for MI and my dads making food. I guess that will be my real test.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Skeezyks]

I send warm thoughts your way, RxQueen875 with the hope that you will be able to regain your inner strength.

[Buttercup40]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

I was doing so good. About 2 weeks of no binging or purging and my cravings even went away. Sadly, that was probably my longest stretch. Yesterday I brought junk food in the house but thought I could handle it. I figured if I stretch my eating out throughout the day then I won't have a problem with feeling too full. Well I was wrong. I ate some candy and couldn't just sit afterwards. My mind was racing and next thing I know, I'm shoving food in my face like I havNt eaten in days. No way am I going to absorb that crap so I threw up. I figured it's no big deal, just a little slip up. Well today my cravings are back and I feel like I'm back to square one. I hope I can jump back quick from this. Tomorrow is a huge rival football game for MI and my dads making food. I guess that will be my real test.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi RxQueen,
I've done exactly that too, don't be so hard on yourself, I'm told this can happen a lot when you're trying to give up the bringing and purging. I do find when I'm trying to be good avoid any situations where they'll be loads of food. Speak to your dad, tell him your fear and ask him to keep an eye on you. I found myself in a situation like yours with a friend's birthday party a couple of years ago, she had so much food and people brought stuff with them and I had to excuse myself a couple of times and take myself outside away from the food and did end up going home as I had such an urge to stuff my face.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I hate how it's so hard for us to be around something we NEED for nourishment yet it haunts us. There's times I've gone to parties with intentions of eating all that free food and family wondering why I'm in the bathroom so much. I've fought alcoholism and that was easy for me because we don't need alcohol to live. So I can avoid it. But food is so much harder. Every time I eat, I pray I'll know when the line is being crossed but it's hard to stop once you start. Like a potato chip. You can't eat just one. For me it's the whole bag.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Buttercup40]

I can so relate to that. Usually one bag ends up 6 bags later and I go through a period of disgust at what I've just done, I tell myself it won't happen again but it does. I used to be in control of it but it can end up controlling me and I end up in a vicious cycle once again.

[BlueGreenTabbyCat]

Hey RxQueen,

Just wanted to reply to your post- I so get where your at; it's happened to me far too many times only I've not had the 2 week stretch where it all goes well during this relapse. I was going to add that junk food and sugar are sooo difficult to work around because they are created to cause cravings- our bodies have no need for them and so wont want them unless chemicals are added to trick our brains into producing certain chemicals (namely dopamine) so we find it hard to not want more. Without this hormonal creation, we simply wouldn't want more because like I've said; our bodies don't need the junk so wont crave the junk (so it's chemically created) and the companies making them would go bust if they didn't create food like this.

I'm sure you know this already- and it's not like all chemically created junk is the problem, there's a whole host of emotional stuff that goes with it which we struggle to get around, even without the chemical and hormonal attacks in our bodies caused by certain foods!

I'm not able to say what the best way to do things is, I'm still struggling with things myself, I'm not sure if it's a bit of a failure on my point but the only way I've worked my way around this is to avoid certain foods because I know I can't handle them. It's easier if I know they offer me no nutritional benefit so I don't need them but I get that it's just as life limiting as an ED but from another angle if all the people around you are always eating this stuff and you don't get to join in.

Keep at it, get annoyed with yourself by all means (I do!) but there is a fine line between getting that annoyed that you stop in your tracks and give up, but I'm sure you know that already! Just know that you're not alone.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Thanx tabby! Other ppl don't get it and think you can just switch it off! I try to explain there chemicals and addiction and its seriouse and deadly! They think you can just stop. No. Because I get what I call emotional withdraw. I used to CRY to get food.

My pdoc has me on vyvance for binge eating and its my miracle drug! In the past three wks I've binged maybe 3 times. I used to binge and throw up 5 times a day. Maybe more! It's hard still to restrain myself sometimes but it's easier to say no now.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Seroquel 300mgs
Lamictal titrating at 75mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 50mg PRN

[xx_tpm-life_xx]

Stay strong! I do the same thing! My biggest thing is when I eat (if I eat) I eat really fast and binge/purge a lot... I'm almost at a week of no bingeing! Honestly we all have setbacks, we could be good 40 years and make a little mistake because it happens. Always here if u want to pm me