[Elio]

Dropping calories again after telling t I wouldn't. I don't care.

[-Astral-]

dont want to eat ...back in the pro ed forums again
husband going to make me eat ...

[eskielover]

Glad you have a H who cares about you. That is the good thing about it.

[-Astral-]

finding things hard me and my husband got new tiles at our shower and bath i had a bath and i could see my reflation and i look so fat and disgusting i dont want to eat very much my husband telling me that i need to eat
am going to my dr's today who does nothing about my eating disorder apart from weighting me i put on weight i feel very low to the point of suicide

[eskielover]

Sadly in many ways anorexia is passive suicide in its own way...end result if not controlled is the same. Sad to feel that way. Is weight the only reason for feeling this way? Are you dealing with depression issues also? Do you have a good T you can talk through your feelings with? ....My MD would only trest HEALTH issues connected with the anorexia, not the mental health issues. That was the job of T & pdoc....hope you can get through this & get some good help.

[feversome]

today i feel like i am not progressing quickly enough towards a BMI of 19 from the 22 i'm at. i feel like i overate today and i'm running out of time to get the reaction i want from the lecturer i have feelings for. i finish my whole course in 6 weeks and i feel desperate to be thin enough to impress him by then. the scale is stuck and i want it to be lower.

i feel silly because i am 30 years old, and i feel angry with people who think i need to change my personality instead of my appearance, to be a big strong caring mature woman who no one with schizophrenia can be. i was overweight for my WHOLE late twenties and half my early twenties being on medication. i refuse to ever be like that again and i want to look as thin as a thin 20 year old to make up for lost time.

[justxholdon]

I'm increasingly frustrated that there are double standards in my relationship. I have to eat X things and x amount of times but she can 'snack' through a day - if that. She thinks telling me her opinion will change my body image just like that. I am growing to resent her because she is underweight and it's ok and yet not okay for me. Does she not understand the mixed message she sends me when she tells me I'm "perfect" but her body isn't? I want to scream.

[aloneinmusic]

Basically told myself if I'm not a certain BMI by late this year (which is a very low BMI) I will kill myself. And now it's stuck in my head. Those low thoughts plague me every day anyway but now my ED has put a twist on it too. So my only option is to be as thin as I possibly can, I won't want to live anyway if I'm not.

It also kind of kills me inside that I'd probably be that thin already had I not gained over a 10 day period at Christmas.

[may24]

I've been doing better in past 2 months, but I'm really struggling today. I'm feeling so hopeless and I'm afraid that I will never be able to eat "like a normal person" again.
I'm trying my best but I always end up having some kind of slip up. I feel so frustrated

[subtle lights]

After years of being okay with this (bulimia), recently it's started again. I can't do this, I already have digestive issues. So yeah...new low.
Hope this was it...hope I can stop

[-Astral-]

for some reason i wanted to go vegan wanted to not eat as much food hoping it would makes me lose weight but a friend told me am doing it for the wrong reason and starving myself will only make me binge more bought a load of vegan food but i can eat it any way still going to be veggie.

i lost weight dr said i have wanting to lose more too fat disgusting

[swansoft]

I think ive been in recovery for 4 months now? The progress and life improvement has been unreal and amazing beyond what i ever thought possible for me but im still recovering and still REALLY going through it. Somedays just compassion can be difficult.

[-Astral-]

Just deleted my account on a pro eating disorder forum ...i feel like i'll miss it and the others who are there but my husband had enough of me having a go at myself everytime i go there and post he says he wants me to be healthy i have ago at myself because i hate myself for my weight and other reasons he says he will help lose weight the right way ( am obese ) i feel like av lost a big bit of support there but its the wrong kind of support its support in to starving myself i should be getting support for other reasons but i cant stop hating myself ...unsure if i'll ever like myself

[Sarmas]

Trying to eat real meals but I'm still having a tough time. I talked myself out of eating dinner again. Still working on it.

[swansoft]

I'm in recovery and i finally got my period back and even though i should be happy it was so triggering. I feel so alone and terrified and ugly and weak.

[subtle lights]

again

[aloneinmusic]

Can't take this anymore. If I'm not under my thinnest again by mid september I'm ending my life.

[-Astral-]

((((((( hugs ))))))) please try and hold on can you ask for a sooner appointment if you tell them your are struggling they should be able to help you



I hardly ate today am back on the pro ed site forum again
**** know what am doing , i need to do something about my body am obese and disgusting lost some weight but its dont seem like its enough for me my husband says am doing well and that i need to stop being harsh to myself
thing is i hate everything about myself am a fat ****

[-Astral-]

am nothing but a fat **** i ate like a ****ing pig today at my groups and the day isnt ****ing over yet am going to be the size of a house am already obese going to put more ****ing weight my husband says i will not but i know i will

[subtle lights]

I'm tired of this.