[sweetheart]

Hi everyone!! I'm new here and I want to tell you about myself

I'm an anorexia survivor. I was diagnosed, felt helpless, ashamed, was skinny to the point of non-existence... to the point where you can't even sit on a chair anymore because you can feel your butt bones painfully hitting the wood.

I didn't think I'd ever survive, but I did. I really, honestly seriously did. It takes time, lots of time- and that's the most frustrating part.

I had so many journals; constantly writing about how I'm "happy" (those affirmations!) even though I wasn't. Sometimes I felt ok, but other times, felt like shoving my hand into my ear and taking my brain out of my head!

I had thought skinny would make me beautiful which would make me happy. BOY was I wrong.

I went through exactly what all other anorexics go through. Doctor appointment and doctor appointment. Stares on the streets by strangers. Chatter behind my back that went "What's wrong with her?!" The feeling of wanting to melt away into nothing.

Anyway.

Here I am. Full bodied (VERY full bodied I might add!), surviving, happy and REALLY living life how I always wanted to live it.

In my anorexic state, I promised myself that if God would ever let me get through this, I would help others who were just like me. I absorbed all that misery and made sure I would remember it. I actually WANTED to remember the misery just so I could be here to write in this forum, so that anyone else who is going through eating disorders would know that there IS HOPE. People DO SURVIVE.

Please don't hesitate to drop me a line ANYTIME. I will respond to ANYTHING. I know what it feels like. And I know it's frustrating, I know it sounds hard to believe, and you might not even think that it's possible. But trust me... for EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IT IS POSSIBLE!

I love you all, and I love you all for the wonderful hearts and souls that you are. NOT your bodies! I hope to get to know everyone here.

[ickydog2006]

It's nice to hear a success story.

Thanks for the little piece of hope.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))

[Cyan]

Hey there,

Welcome. I have a question: What do you mean by "very full bodied"?

Cyan

[sweetheart]

Hi

Cyan, by full bodied I don't mean fat. When I was anorexic, I lost soo much weight. I didn't have anything on me. I had a flat chest with no boobs. No ***... nothing. By very full bodied, I mean I fit into my clothes again. My breasts actually fill my bra cups, there is something below my back called a BUTT to look at!

I realized that when I was ganing weight, it somehow just seemed impossible for me to get FAT. I'm at a plateau now.