[Qristinka]

Hi.

I don't know what I'm doing here or why I'm opening up here. I used to be anorexic (purging type) for over twenty-years and struggled with recovery for a long time. I mostly recovered and was okay for a while, but... I guess I've slowly woken up to the fact that I'm a binge/overeater now. If I feel anxious, worried, scared, bored, alone... tired... whatever... I eat. I used to purge or work out, but I ... just can't anymore and I don't know why. I keep saying "tomorrow I'll get a grip on this"... but, every time tomorrow comes and I just eat again. I recently (10 months ago) had a daughter and I've not been able to lose the baby weight and keep gaining I don't know.

I'm sad and I hate the way I look. Hate my body and myself. I don't know.

I don't know what I'm saying or why I'm here. I just want it to stop. I want to stop eating. Stop getting fatter. just... STOP.

[eskielover]

Maybe if you got involved with a group like weight watchers where you learned how to lose weight healthy & had some accountability from the outside, that might help. Or a nutritionist that would be willing to take on a role of someone you are accountable to.

Many times when we are accountable only to our selves it is much more difficult to change our pattern no matter what it is.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Hi. I'm sending you all my good thoughts. In my experience, stopping dieting is the only thing that works.

At the moment, you're trapped in an all or nothing mentality, which I recognise so well. Every day promising yourself you'll change and eat normally.

My recovery was achieved by giving up on the idea of perfection (in all sorts of ways). I was anorexic and then bulimic.

The key thing was replacing my 'ideal' image of myself with a healthier (achievable) one. It could be pasting pictures of curvy women on your wall. Or (heavy-ish) sporty ones. Once you start looking for these healthy images, strange things start to happen... you might notice that members of the opposite sex really do find these shapes more attractive... or you suddenly get the urge to buy some nice trainers, and go speed-walking... or something...

You can't say in advance how it will pan out, but if you can take that first step of giving up dieting and hunger and misery, you will give your body a chance to find its normal, happy weight.

Good luck with it.

[Shazerac]

Welcome to psych central

Originally Posted by Qristinka

Hi.

I don't know what I'm doing here or why I'm opening up here. I used to be anorexic (purging type) for over twenty-years and struggled with recovery for a long time. I mostly recovered and was okay for a while, but... I guess I've slowly woken up to the fact that I'm a binge/overeater now. If I feel anxious, worried, scared, bored, alone... tired... whatever... I eat. I used to purge or work out, but I ... just can't anymore and I don't know why. I keep saying "tomorrow I'll get a grip on this"... but, every time tomorrow comes and I just eat again. I recently (10 months ago) had a daughter and I've not been able to lose the baby weight and keep gaining I don't know.

I'm sad and I hate the way I look. Hate my body and myself. I don't know.

I don't know what I'm saying or why I'm here. I just want it to stop. I want to stop eating. Stop getting fatter. just... STOP.

Just try and remember that you're welcome here and you have tons of people who are willing to talk to you if you need a listening ear!
Welcome to PC!