When's it gonna sink in?

When am I going to realize and admit that I have a problem? I mean, I know I do to some point, but I'm still in denial. My hubby came to see my therapist today and we spent two hours there. He now agrees there IS a problem. At first he thought she was being overly concerned.
My BMI is healthy and I still get my periods, therefore I think I am OK. I had to buy pants tonight for a funeral and I couldn't find a pair small enough! Yet I question if I still look fat.
My therapist warned my husband of what could happen to me with my health and everything. I'm supposed to start eating. It's hard.
I just don't see there being a problem with me eating (or not eating) the way that I do. I restrict all week, but I eat well when my husband is home on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I feel that's good enough. They are worried about me. I was just shaking my head at therapy thinking it's all nonsense.
When did any of you finally realize you truly had a problem?
When did you first admit it or seek help?
What kind of treatment did you get? I don't want treatment. I'm not ready for that.
Can someone please help me and reply.I posted something similar on another board and I didn't get any replies yet.

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tracy33 said:
I restrict all week, but I eat well when my husband is home on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.

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That right there should show you there is something "odd" going on? How is it your health and life is governed by whether your husband is home or not? You are not "balanced" if you cannot eat uniformly/well all week.

If somebody told you what you told us - "I restrict all week, but I do eat well when my husband is home on Fridays and the weekends" - what would you think? Would you think that is a healthy way to eat? Would you not think it would be better for them to eat properly during the week, too?

Why do you think what they are saying in therapy is all nonsense?

I do know perfectly well what you mean though, so please don't think I'm trying to be nasty to you or anything. But major denial often exists in a lot of eating disorders and has a horrible tendency not to lift until a person is either facing death or too dead to realize anything. You must realize something is at least slightly amiss though to post in an ED forum . Oh yeah I just read your first line of your post again and realized what you said.

You said, 'Can someone please help me and reply'. I'm not sure what reply you want. Do you want us all to say, 'Your eating is fine, no worries' or 'Your eating isn't fine, you should talk to your therapist more, you will make yourself seriously ill probably if you carry on like this'? Because either way your denial will continue. I suppose the hardest part is facing up to the denial, which I don't think is very easy to do until something bad happens. Somebody I know on another ED forum (recovery) collapsed last year from heart troubles due to her very low weight and was in the ICU for a while, and that gave her the inspiration to start increasing her weight because she was forced to realize she was going to die if she didn't do something about it. So yeah... sorry about the ramble

Thanks for the reply. I don't think you are being nasty. I guess I know there's a problem with my poor eating habits, and eventually my stomach probably won't want to accept any food. But I feel I'm forced to do this if I want to remain thin. Or get thinner.
I guess I'm also in denial and looking for someone on here to tell me that their turning point was when they passed out or collapsed (like you mentioned). Then I'll know that if that happens to me, I'll have a serious problem.
Maybe I'm just looking for more people to tell me that I have a problem so I can beleive it. I also think that my therapist is just jealous of me. She was anorexic years ago.

Defining moments... you asked...

I have an ED...

I have a friend.. a former neighbor, our sons grew up together.. we shared dinners, prayers, our sons, holidays, up's, downs, everything.. I love this person..

She always has had an ED... riding the very edge.. of thin... eating like you... not balanced.. not good.. wanting to be thin.. so she was on the very edge..

I didn't see her for 6 months.. and ran into her in the store..
she is now 5'6" and 73 pounds... I asked what happened.. she lost control.. in 6 months she lost control - that fast because she was already riding the edge.. My heart is shattered...
She says and has ALWAYS said "I have no problem, I eat"..
Well.. I immediately talked to her son.. and her husband.. her son.. is heartbroken.. he has stress and strain on him.. he is 23 years old...
She is Still in denial.. I eat what is the problem..is what she says..

Did I mention she had a heart attack.. even before the 73 pounds..

I have an ED... I love each of us that posts here.. I really do..

my ED..
I ate like you... then yes.. I couldn't keep anything down.. my system stopped processing food... gradual..
Then I started noticing.. I can't run up the stairs at work anymore.. I can't get dressed without sitting down.. I am tired...
Then..... I can't work at my career anymore.. couldn't concentrate...
Then... I simply couldn't eat for a very long time.. and I lost weight dramatically... then the "good" news... a heart attack..
acid reflux, acid went into my lungs and I have asthma..

And... it started with "I don't have a problem"...

So now fighting my way.. and I mean fighting...
I have 7 foods that will process... that's it..

I have had to have years of therapy.. years...

And.. it is never over..

So please.. take yourself out of denial... and get some help..
say "I have a problem"... "I love my husband.. and I will take care of me".

Let THIS... be your defining moment..

my very personal story... that I have shared with you because I care... I truely.. do..

Thank you for sharing your story. I weighed myself this morning and I gained 1 pound. It didn't bother me too much because I then went and made myself 2 eggs and 2 slices of toast. I haven't eaten that in along time. I also had a hamburger for lunch. I felt very full and guilty afterwards. I felt like if I were to try on a pair of jeans they would no longer fit. I felt so fat. I also wanted to eat some more.
I'd rather just go without because I feel lighter. I don't feel fat and bloated. But I do think I'm on the right track here. I ate good for a few days. I'm going to try to keep it up and add some exercizing in with it, but not go overboard with it.
Tomorrow's Monday which normally starts my restricting for the week, we'll see what happens.
Thanks again.

much love sweetie... I want to say "you go girl"... I am so proud of you... you are a special person.. and you keep putting that good food in your body..