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#1
Jul 18, 2018, 10:18 AM
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I don't understand why this is so bad. Yesterday everyone in the house was eating desert so after being tortured for awhile I finally ate an ice cream sandwich. After a few minutes I got so mad with myself. I've never done this before but I ended up going to the toilet and shoving two fingers down my throat. Nothing happened so I tried it again but only some spit came up. So I went for a walk but after thinking about it for a short while I got really mad and went to the toilet except this time I held my two fingers down my throat for about 10 seconds. That did it. Sure it's painful but after the pain went away there was kind of a euphoria that came over me. It felt really good to get that stuff out of me!!!!
I quickly washed my mouth afterwards because I've heard that stomach acid isn't good for your teeth. I don't know if this can developing BED but I really don't see anything bad about it. It's not like I'm cutting myself with a razor. What am I missing? |
 zoloft haver
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#2
Jul 19, 2018, 11:04 AM
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you don't notice it at first. the high starts waning when your teeth are rotting despite your best efforts, your stomach doesn't digest even little things anymore, your body chemistry is shot, your esophagus is bloated and on fire, and you're gaining weight anyway to boot. just because it doesn't show as much doesn't mean you aren't doing damage.
__________________
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 stahrgeyzer
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#3
Jul 21, 2018, 06:27 PM
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That sounds scary putting it that way. They were just saying on the news how horrible soda pop is for people. Not only does it rot your teeth away but it's horrible for health. Daily soda pop can damage the stomach and esophageal lining, and cause acid reflux. The caffeine raises your heart rate and increases blood pressure. Cause insomnia, nervousness, breast tenderness, migraines, and even urinary problems. It can interact with certain medications causing all kinds of horrible symptoms. Damn scary stuff. Where's that white padded room lol. I guess don't abuse anything, including purging.
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| zoloft haver
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#4
Jul 22, 2018, 07:10 AM
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Quote:
__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
| zoloft haver
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| stahrgeyzer, zoloft haver
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#5
Jul 23, 2018, 08:22 AM
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Quote:
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| stahrgeyzer
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#6
Jul 28, 2018, 05:41 AM
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I've been bulimic for a while... Often purging multiple times a day...
I will say that yes it does feel good, but the major caveat is that it becomes very compulsive and you end up being completely exhausted of the behavior. Physically, you will begin to feel very faint and weak, and mentally you'll be tortured by obsessive thoughts about purging. Not to mention, it makes binging much more likely because you have a way out... The end point is even though it does feel good in the moment, the pleasure fades and you're left completely exhausted and just a memory of that pleasant feeling. The lightness always turns to a feeling of heaviness...
__________________
"Are we not all hungry ghosts chasing the phantoms of our choice?" - Alexander Lazarus Wolff “Live or die, but don't poison everything.” -Anne Sexton “If with a pure mind a person speaks or acts, happiness follows them like a never-departing shadow.” - The Buddha |
| stahrgeyzer
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#7
Jul 28, 2018, 06:13 AM
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I was clear for over 2 months. Had a relapse last night after a EMDR therapy session. I talked to T last night, as he called me, and he said it is human behavior to test the boundaries whether it be working out or losing weight. He feels it is a child part pushing back and testing boundaries but feel I will be fine for several months but to be prepared for another boundary testing and not to feel like a failure or a disapointment.
__________________
When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
| stahrgeyzer
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