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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#661
I let the time get away from me and am now eating breakfast at 11:15 AM though I've been up since 5 AM. Many days I do this. I wonder if I unconsciously do this on purpose? Having vanilla yogurt with granola mixed in now but know I need to eat more. I'm considering the fruit I have.
Am I the only one who does this? It has been happening a lot with me lately. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
happysobercrafter, LucyD
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happysobercrafter, LucyD
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New Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Raleigh
Posts: 9
5 1 hugs
given |
#662
My therapist keeps saying things that insinuate that I'm fat, or at least come across that way. I don't know, an ED brain twists things a lot. I also got upset because my foot, which is swollen due to bruising the bones, looks fat. Ugh.
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happysobercrafter
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happysobercrafter
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
7 9,930 hugs
given |
#663
I saw a new doctor (actually she's a nurse practitioner) and she patiently explained to me how important thyroid meds are plus being taken at the same time, on an empty stomach. So, today is my first day following those instructions. I am really tired this morning, but that could be because I had a long day yesterday.
So, today I will work on eating better than I did yesterday. __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
Blue_Bird
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,038
(SuperPoster!)
12 5,531 hugs
given |
#664
Hi, I've slipped but trying really hard to get back to recovery. I've ate 2x today so that's good. I'm trying. Stupid gastritis, stupid me for getting off meds, stupid psychosis. I hope this is a temporary blip. I have to tell my pdoc tomorrow, not fun.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#665
Did you let your pdoc know?
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#666
Doing OK with eating, though the ED tells me it is bad. I'm seeming not to care quite as much right now. Maybe it's the extra iron, having to exercise less because of the heat, a lot going on with life in general. Not bad things, just things changing - H's job, daughter out of elementary school and off for summer, started a couple organization projects, etc.
I've avoided the scale since last Wed. or Thursday. Not sure how much longer I can though. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
7 15 hugs
given |
#667
Having a hard time. The psych hospital started me on a new medicine (I got out a week ago) and it's causing edema and some weight gain. My pdoc is switching me to a more weight neutral med, mostly because of the edema. But between last appointment and today's, the scale showed a large weight gain. I know some of it is the edema but even the number is messing with my head. I want to go back to purging daily because of it. I haven't purged in over 3 years. The urges are so strong right now though...
__________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
Victoria'smom
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#669
Quote:
Edema is awful though. I had it happen once when I changed brands of birth control pill. In just over a week, I was so swollen. Had to stop the pill. And it happened at the end of pregnancy (just the normal amount expected especially when you go pas5 your due date like I did), but that you just pretty much pee out. Did the doc weigh you or are you weighing yourself between appts. If it’s at the pdoc’s, can you ask to be weighed backwards ? I am assuming your pdoc knows your history with EDs? __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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childofchaos831
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#670
Quote:
Do you have a GI doc treating the gastritis? Are you on medication for it, like a proton pump inhibitor? Though those come with their own series of problems. I’m on Protonix. It could be some of the reason I’m have iron anemia (you need enough stomach acid to absorb the iron). I have gastritis as well. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#671
Mixed up 2 meds this AM during a bad panic attack (have those pills set aside in bottles as they are prn). Yesterday, I picked up a Trazodone prescription, and I must have put it with the prn meds. Trazodone in the 50 mg form is the same shape, size, color as one of the prn meds. I then ended up taking Trazodone, or so I figure, sleepy as I felt. Had to cancel appointment with T because I wasn’t sure I’d be alert enough to drive, so that sucks. I got really, really nauseous. Couldn’t manage even a light lunch until 2 PM. Really still don’t feel hungry, and I was planning baked potatoes for dinner. Not sure if I can face that or have to have something more like soup and sandwich. Still think I am waiting for the full effect of the Trazodone to wear off. I guess I have no tolerance for it any more. I took a 50 mg pill this AM, but I usually cut them in half, take only 25 mg at night. There was a time I needed 400, 450 mg to sleep, and even that didn’t always work.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
7 15 hugs
given |
#672
Quote:
I'm hoping a lot of the weight was the edema. I'm tempted to go weigh myself on my mom's scale. Since I stopped the medicine, the edema has gone down a lot. It's not all the way gone yet but it's lessened. I'm wanting to restrict too. Which is bad especially, because I have diabetes, and my blood sugar can drop and make me sick. It's 5:30pm and I've only eaten once today. I'm hungry, but I don't want to eat. I can't make myself throw up either, honestly. I used to abuse laxatives for purging. Any time I genuinely need them, it's triggering. I hate having to take them. I don't keep any in the house ever. My brain is telling me to go buy some, and I'm trying to fight it, but it's getting really hard. I'm honestly not sure if I have been honest with my pdoc about the ED. It's been so long since I've acted out on it that I don't mention it with my history usually. It's one of those things that I'm hesitant to have labeled. It follows you, you know. If it's mentioned, when you're in the hospital, they watch what you eat and don't let you go to your room for awhile after meals. It just seems like a lot of judgement follows when your labeled with an ED. The thoughts of wanting to purge are strong today. And my brain is like, if you don't eat then you don't have to purge. I hate my brain. I want to just be able to enjoy food like a normal person. __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 3,693
6 309 hugs
given |
#673
Quote:
I suppose there are some people fortunate enough to recover 100%, but I never have. Even when I'm doing well, healthy weight, eating fine, not overexercising, I still have those ED thoughts/voices in my head. Sure, sometimes not as much or as strong or it's easier not to act on them and ignore them, but when life gets tough, it tends to be one of the coping mechanisms I embrace first, again and again. I was diagnosed with anorexia over 20 years ago, so yeah, it comes back all the time, or the thoughts were awful too when I had to gain weight because I was pregnant with my daughter. The doctor only asked for the standard 25-35 lb., and I gained around 30 and felt enormous and wanted to do all the ED things but couldn't because of the baby. OB made me get right on a waiting list for a pdoc even before my third trimester. I haven't had pdocs focusing on the ED unless I let them know the thoughts were bad or they could tell I was losing too much weight and made me step on the scale. I do think it's something your pdoc, even all your doctors should be aware of. These things can affect you medically down the road even if you were fully immersed in the ED for a short time frame. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
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childofchaos831
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
7 15 hugs
given |
#674
Quote:
I sent a text to my T. She's gonna call when she gets home. She's driving right now. Gonna try to tell her about the ED thoughts, but also having psychotic symptoms from the change in meds. Just overall having a rough day. __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,038
(SuperPoster!)
12 5,531 hugs
given |
#675
Quote:
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,818
9 1,667 hugs
given |
#676
Just thought I'd say hi to you all. I have nothing to add.
__________________ One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure. William Feather Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,269
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.8k hugs
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#677
Put my scale away. Just going to check my weight every two weeks for a bit, was getting obsessed with it again and weighing myself every day multiple times
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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LucyD
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,269
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.8k hugs
given |
#678
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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LucyD
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,818
9 1,667 hugs
given |
#679
I have mine back in my apt. It's not bothering me as much as it was for some reason. I am not what I weigh but a whole woman with qualities. Never going to be a size 0! Don't want to be either.
__________________ One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure. William Feather Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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Blue_Bird
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Blue_Bird
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,818
9 1,667 hugs
given |
#680
__________________ One way to get the best out of life is to think of it as an adventure. William Feather Medications: Risperidone-1 mg.daily, Propranolol-20 mg. daily, Gabapentin-600 mg daily, Melatonin-3 mg. at bedtime, Nicotine Lozenges-2 mg., Vape Liquid-3 mg., One A Day Vitamins,
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Blue_Bird
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Blue_Bird
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Closed Thread |
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