yesterday I didn't enjoy my food, again

in fact: while I was eating, I was gagging on it

wasn't going well.. had some extra strong pepermints afterwards

[Deilla]

I ate a little bit too much last night. I haven't eaten yet this morning.

[Mountaindewed]

I told my therapist today my main food groups are
Oatmeal
Goldfish
Ramen
And Quest peanut butter cups.
Now I eat cereal too but I don’t think I told her that.

I mentioned my storage rack (she said where I keep my snacks) is full of pretty much only these things. She said oatmeal is healthy. Asked if I eat the whole grain kind of Goldfish. And seemed mildly interested in the protein cups.

She says I’m too focused on the numbers and not on what I’m eating or how I’m losing. In September she is switching me to someone who specializes in EDs and I wonder how that will go. If I do have one it’s probably just EDNOS. Which isn’t a big deal.

not doing great. my mind is at war.

wrote my shopping list yesterday.

mainly full of candy

stomach ache again because food didn't agree with me.

I seriously can't go on like this..

[Deilla]

I did some stress eating last night. I'm doing better today.

[indigo1015]

Not good… I was so good yesterday for most of the day— three small meals and no snacks— but work kicked my *** last night and on my way home from work I stopped at a gas station and got a burrito. I was just so hungry and exhausted and stressed and I couldn’t cope.

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[Deilla]

I did well last night. I slept instead of ate.

eating way too much candy before dinner

I need to. I won't enjoy it. I havon't enjoyed it for... I don't know how long. a long time

not too much snacking today. just my mcdonalds

[Mountaindewed]

I was low today but I feel like I still ate enough. I had 4 bowls of oatmeal, 3 mini bags of Goldfish crackers and a package of Quest peanut butter cups. So I for sure only ate my “safe” foods today. I had one can of zero sugar mango Pepsi, and then a 20oz zero sugar Mountain Dew. I had a ton of water today and I was going to the bathroom nonstop. The intense amount of water was not disordered behavior. I was gonna get an unwhich from Jimmy Johns for dinner but it will be too late by the time my mom gets home to order it.

My mom is bringing me home a ton of groceries. A lot of ramen, goldfish, some zero Gatorade, and a case or 2 of vanilla Coke Zero sugar. She’s also bringing me home some European chocolate. I rarely eat any chocolate besides the protein cups. I just save chocolate in case of an emergency. I’ve been working on the same box of chocolate Paydays since I think April and I still have a ton of them left. There were 30 in the box.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

...... goldfish?

you need to fill me in here. apart from the little things that swim around in tanks (I used to have some!), I don't know what they are.

Pepperidge Farm goldfish crackers. They are about half the size of a Cheezit. About as big as a fingernail. A little puffy fish-shaped cracker. Like an animal cracker cookie, but its a cheese cracker, and there is just the one fish shape. The ad used to say, "The only snack that smiles!" Babies eat them like they eat Cheerios cereal, as a finger food. They are very tasty!

[unaluna]

I got a new glucose meter system in the mail from my insurance company. Yo my blood sugar is way up, like 250-350. The meter told me to get it down to 180. Well thats what i was running at, and my dr always crabs at me!

[Deilla]

I did well today. I want a snack now. But I'll pick something healthy.

back to eating badly and not enjoying my food

6 days to friday...

[Mountaindewed]

I had a bowl of oatmeal and a couple little bags of Goldfish. Then I got an unwhich from Jimmy Johns for lunch. I had that almost 3 hours ago and I usually am in bed by 5:30. So I should probably have a snack even though I’m not hungry. I want to stay ahead of my hunger so I’m not ravenous by 5:30. For the rest of the day I plan on having 2 more packages of Goldfish and 2 more bowls of oatmeal. I’m still low for the day, but whatever. I’ve been drinking a lot of water and diet sweet tea and I’ve been using the bathroom nonstop. I’m not necessarily thirsty, I just feel like drinking a lot of water for some reason. I think my mom is catching onto things a bit. She says I’m not eating. When I literally ate 4 bowls of oatmeal yesterday.

food was too chewy yesterday and I constantly choked on the meat

paying for it today.. feeling hungry and nauseious. I didn't eat much yesterday, and now I'm feeling it..

[Mountaindewed]

I just ate a rice cake with a glass of water. Yeah that’s real good behavior. 🙄 I’m in too good of a mood to eat much today and I keep losing track of the time because I’m really anticipating a delivery. So I can’t really focus on food today. I’m also having sensory issues with hot food. Which is an autism thing not an ED thing. So I can’t really emotionally handle eating oatmeal or ramen today. Which is all I have on my shelf. I did get a medium order of cheese fries this morning around 7 from Sonic. So I’ve had stuff.

I just had a bowl of instant Chinese noodles. They didn’t come with a flavor package or anything. I think you are supposed to add seasoning or meat to it yourself. I just ate it plain and it was pretty bland but I like bland foods. With bland foods it’s more the texture that I like.

I’m waiting on my soda to get here. It’s starting to become a bit late to drink a Mountain Dew though just because of my med schedule. So hopefully it gets here soon or I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to drink it

[Deilla]

I coped with food today. I ordered McDonald's. It was all bad stuff. I still feel stressed. I want Mexican tomorrow.