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Default Sep 02, 2021 at 01:23 PM
  #281
famous stomach ache again

lovely...

and all I've had today is some candy and a few sausages
 

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Default Sep 02, 2021 at 07:50 PM
  #282
officially haven't worked out since saturday. i feel soft. but my eating is definitely under control again. i'm able to restrict again. i don't feel uncontrollable urges to binge

i'll have to start up the exercise again tomorrow. to stay on track with my goal for a marathon. after that i can lose weight. i want to lose the 10 lbs i gained this year. maybe more, but at least that.
 
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Default Sep 03, 2021 at 01:18 AM
  #283
I've been stress-eating. I'm craving protein. I keep eating turkey and cheese.

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Default Sep 03, 2021 at 04:51 AM
  #284
treat day.

looking forward to my mcdonalds
 
 
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Default Sep 04, 2021 at 09:07 AM
  #285
I had a very nice mcdonalds yesterday. yummy
 
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Default Sep 06, 2021 at 11:37 AM
  #286
my strange logic: im restricting until my new running shoes come hopefully by tuesday. needed new ones to avoid injury. i was a little injured last saturday from my shoes so i decided not to exercise for a while. but really it was os that i would stop binging, needing to eat a lot of calories to sustain the exercise. it was exhausting overwhelming and triggering.

i hit a weight too high and i'm snapping back into restriction. i fasted on saturday. i'm trying to eat high protein so my muscles dont deteriorate too much but i have not lifted a single weight in almost two weeks. i'm choosing this over my marathon i guess. i gave myself permission to run a 6+hour marathon. just running to finish it, not focused on results anymore...

certain jobs i've been too weak to do and had to quit. now i cant run my marathon. it is also very expensive to buy restriction foods. not that i was cheap while binging.
 
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Default Sep 06, 2021 at 12:24 PM
  #287
I cooked pesto pasta that came out terrible. I ate it. I never want pesto again. I'm throwing the rest away. I have a turkey and swiss sandwich for later.

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Default Sep 07, 2021 at 06:44 PM
  #288
I'm struggling lately/relapsing whatever you want to call it., I have been in a cycle of
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and it's hard to get back out of. My therapist recommended having my doctor refer me to a nutritionist. They always bring that up and I never take their advice. I went once like 6 years ago to one single appointment with one and never went back. It wasn't a bad experience or anything, I just wasn't ready to give up my ED behaviors at the time. I don't really know what to do. I'm obsessing again. I don't want to end up back in the hospital like I did a few years ago from
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. It scared me, honestly. The fact that my heart was beating abnormally, electrolyte imbalance. etc I didn't want to die so that scared me straight for awhile but I'm back at the old behaviors again.

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Default Sep 08, 2021 at 03:20 AM
  #289
I ate deli turkey and swiss when I wasn't that hungry. I guess I was craving the protein.

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Default Sep 10, 2021 at 03:12 PM
  #290
had my weekly mcdonalds today.

it was nice!
 
 
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Default Sep 11, 2021 at 02:15 PM
  #291
I've been craving snacks like apples, yogurt, cheese and nuts.

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Default Sep 11, 2021 at 02:32 PM
  #292
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deilla View Post
I've been craving snacks like apples, yogurt, cheese and nuts.
Yeah ive been craving crunchy stuff! And i am not normally a crunchy person.

I have a jug of twin peaks protein puffs - they are like body builders cheezy poofs. But i cant eat them endlessly, even tho they are tasty. My current jug is garlic parmesan.
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Default Sep 12, 2021 at 01:45 PM
  #293
Had a bowl of raisin bran for breakfast, some yogurt and birthday cake for lunch. I'm mildly freaking out because on birthdays we usually go out to eat for dinner. I was weighed this morning in the hospital. My "mom" there (just a counselor I really like and who really likes me forsome reason) flipped her **** when she heard I lost even more weight. Still was discharged though because that's not why I was admitted.

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Default Sep 12, 2021 at 05:46 PM
  #294
I weighed myself this morning at my usual time. cool number. I weighed myself at 1:45 and I was less then I was this morning. Weird. I didn’t restrict today. I just ate my usual 4 safe foods. I did have a wafer like chocolate bar for breakfast to help my sweet tooth craving that creeps up every now and then.

I’d like to get some matzo ball soup. I usually stay away from soup because of the sodium. Even drained chicken noodle soup can cause issues. But I haven’t had this in awhile. I can’t find it though.

I avoided dinner with the family and ate on my own before they came. I hate eating in front of people, and I hate BBQ food and it makes me feel sick because everyone in my family burns the food and then I feel like I’m just eating charcoal.

I did take a med half an hour ago so I could become tired so I could avoid nighttime hunger. My Geodon can still sometimes make me hungry at night. So yeah that was a bit of disordered thinking. I hope I don’t need a giant coffee tomorrow. I’ve pretty much cut out iced coffees. I also only eat fast food when I’m desperate. I’ll still drink a regular soda once a week.

I read today that 25% of trans people are too heavy for surgery. I’m glad that’s not my case. Most trans men I know and have seen on TV are heavy. My doctor told me my risk for complications was low because I am not heavy and am in good shape. That made me feel good.

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Default Sep 13, 2021 at 06:00 PM
  #295
Weighed myself this morning and was not impressed. I need to start running again. Screw my hip. I gotta talk to my T about possibly having an eating disorder, but she won't return my phone calls. Literally half my calories today came from coffee (tried Dunk's pumpkin iced coffee and it's really good, I know I'm late on that one though).
My mom commented on how thin I'm getting, said I looked "almost anorexic." Guess I gotta wear more baggy clothes. I usually just wear PJ pants and a T-shirt but today I wore leggings and a tunic. I don't see the thin-ness though, just the balls of fat I can grab. But yeah, definitely gotta get a hold of my therapist and tell her I'm not afraid of being poisoned anymore but I still don't want to eat.

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Default Sep 13, 2021 at 07:06 PM
  #296
I'm still struggling, but am working on it.

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Default Sep 13, 2021 at 10:25 PM
  #297
I was craving a snack, but I don't have any snack food. So I ate pickles and turkey and cheese rollups. My stomach doesn't feel too good right now. I feel too full.

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Default Sep 14, 2021 at 06:21 PM
  #298
I really should eat something. Think I'll go eat some oatmeal.

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Default Sep 14, 2021 at 06:39 PM
  #299
I woke up hungry and ate 3 small pancakes. I used sugar-free syrup so hopefully, it wasn't too bad.

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Default Sep 15, 2021 at 12:43 AM
  #300
I am out of my diabetes med, so i have been low carbing it. I will pick it up tomorrow.

Tonight i took a shower so i will be ready to go first thing.

I bought stuff like canned beets, red peppers, green beans, and canned white and sweet potatoes from amazon. I still have canned mushrooms, lima beans, kimchi, and tuna and squid. I havent had heartburn or gallbladder pain in a while, knock on wood.

So it kinda goes like this - first meal is usually starch and veg, maybe veg protein like beans or soy tvp. Then lunch is fish, then dinner are 1 or 2 veg. We're not counting the sugar free jello puddings, right? We are almost out of them. Hopefully by then my kitchen will be clean and i can start making chocolate berry oatmeal for dinner.
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