[Deilla]

I did some stress eating today. I ate when I wasn't hungry.

[Mountaindewed]

I took an extra dose of my Geodon on Thursday night and I was hungry yesterday. But I still managed to control myself. I did eat a couple extra things but I didn't go overboard. I just ate one cookie butter cookie and then a matzo cracker. So to a normal person it wouldn't be considered going overboard, but to me it was. Although for the entire day I still ate about what a normal adult would eat if not less. It would for sure not be considerered a cheat day by any means.

[Deilla]

I've done well today. When I was hungry, I had oatmeal.

[Mountaindewed]

I didn't do the best today. I had a couple sodas and one coffee and not enough food. What I did eat was decently healthy though. But I was too lazy to make a Quest pizza for dinner and I also didn't feel like dealing with possibly burning the roof of my mouth. So whenever I feel like it and get the energy I'll go get my second pack of Budig meat of the day. So I'm not sure If I full blown restricted or was just super lazy again.

[Deilla]

I overate this morning.

[Mountaindewed]

I had a nightmare where I went to a Golden Corral. I'm not joking, I woke up and was super relieved it was just a dream. That place is gross for so many reasons.

Today I seem to be restricting because of anxiety. Yesterday was mostly because I was cold and lazy.

[Deilla]

I overate peanut butter last night.

[Mountaindewed]

My stomach feels super full but I haven't eaten much today. Dinner will be healthy though and I'll force myself to eat that because this is not good and I hope my therapist doesn't freak out in the morning. Considering theres some medical stuff involved I don't think I'll be in too much trouble. But I'll be in jeans and a T shirt instead of a hoodie and cargo shorts like last week so she may make a couple comments.

[Deilla]

I've done well today.

[Mountaindewed]

My session on Wednesday was actually virtual so she couldnt see me. But we talked about healthy eating and she asked what I weighed now and didn't make a fuss about it. She basically just said I'm doing good with the protein but now I need to eat more carbs. Everyone seems to be giving me a pass about food because of the other stuff going on. I know yesterday I was way too tired and off physically to eat much of anything.

[Deilla]

I did okay today. But there's still the evening.

[Mountaindewed]

I had 3 regular size sodas, a few sips of a can of a regular soda, a zero sugar one and about half of a zero sugar one. I drink a lot of soda but I'm not normally that bad. I did eat today and what I ate was healthy but I was kinda leaning towards restricting today because of all the soda. Basically I was just craving soda instead of food. I did drink water though. Which I was told meant nothing when it comes to having an ED.

[Fuzzybear]

I've decided I'm too ''fat'' ...

Although my body weight is ''normal''...

meh..

When I was on that ****... my body weight was Obese.

[Anrea]

Still struggling with BED. I think about food constantly. Still responding to my binges with purging. I've convinced myself that I will stop B/P when I hit my goal weight because then I can eat my TDEE. Now, I am on a calorie restricting diet. But I'm getting closer. Hopefully by the end of May. I am pleased about one thing, I've changed the way I eat and I think it's a llife long change. If it isn't nutritious, there's no point. It works mostly, but then sometimes I get cravings for junk. I'm still figuring out how to handle that.

[Mountaindewed]

My therapist is starting to notice things I think. She was kinda odd today towards the end of the session. I was wearing a t shirt instead of my normal hoodie and she had not seen me in 2 weeks and there was a legit difference in the last 2 weeks. I got taco bell for lunch since I felt like it was decently healthy. I just got a bean burrito and nacho fries without the nacho sauce. At this point I could stop and be completely ok. But I still want to get down some more.

I need to say this, because I'm kind of mad

a new takeout place has opened in my area and someone contacted me recently with the comment, oh, you should try it. it's a lot better than mcdonalds.. I think you'll really enjoy it!.

even though i'm going to still have mcdonalds (mcdonalds on a friday is an age old tradition!), it really makes me anxious that someone is even considering making me change that- even if it is just for one week.

[Anrea]

I've slipped back into the binge/purge cycle. About every 4 days I slip. It's been through half of March, but I'm scared. I don't want to do this again. I justify it by saying,"Well, when I get to my goal weight, and can eat my TDEE, I won't be binging." But I have heard other people had previous similar attitudes and failed.

[Deilla]

I have been doing well lately.

[Mountaindewed]

I restricted today but not on purpose. I have barely eaten today but I can't even feel hunger right now. I drank a lot of water. I woke up craving water and I chugged 2 bottles. I'm not sure thats really good though to be thirsty but not hungry. Man is this transition kicking my *** again and its barely been 4 days.

eating crap

but I am eating crap because my regular food isn't filling me up- which in turn is crap cooking, so i'm not surprised.

mcdonalds today though. should fill me up.